


The Last Man On Earth

by Meridian (Meri)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: AU, M/M, forced bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-09-01
Updated: 2001-09-01
Packaged: 2017-10-12 00:45:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/118952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meri/pseuds/Meridian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Daniel have a run in with an alien device and the result is not pretty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Last Man On Earth

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** MGM owns them, not me. I'll return them when I'm done. Promise.
> 
>  **Notes:** Thanks to my beloved editor: Marcelle Gibson. And wonderful betas: Lanning Cook, and Jody

Part 1

 

"Jack, Teal'c, can you help me a minute?" Daniel asked, looking up from his survey of the base of an obelisk they had stumbled upon in the woods on P2X-994. He wasn't sure what the language was, but it looked like some form of Latin.

"Whatcha need?" Jack stepped up onto the black stone platform, his MP5 still at ready, even though the entire planet had been abandoned long ago. So far, all they'd seen in the way of life forms were a few bugs.

"I need you both to move this up about six inches so I can read and record the rest of it." A crack in the platform had caused the base of the structure to fall below the floor and he couldn't make out all the words.

"And how are we supposed to do that?"

"I thought if Teal'c could pull it and you could push it, I might be able to see it." Daniel smiled his best "please-do-me-this-one-little-favor" smile.

"I would be happy to assist you, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c carefully set down his staff weapon and rounded the obelisk, taking hold as Daniel had directed.

Putting his weapon down with a sigh, Jack knelt in front of it, next to Daniel.

"Okay, on three," Jack said, bracing his hands on the base, and looking up at Teal'c. "One. Two. Three."

Both men worked and the base moved the necessary few inches for Daniel to copy the rest of it.

"Daniel?" Jack said, voice strained with holding the heavy base. "We're not going to be able to hold this forever."

"Almost done." Daniel put a hand on it, next to Jack's, the other hand using the digital recorder to photograph the writing carved into the stone.

Jack grunted. "It's slipping."

Both of their hands crossed and pressed on the jeweled stone in the center base as it slipped from their grasp. A light flashed out, encompassing both Daniel and Jack, throwing them backward. It felt like an electric jolt through Daniel's entire body.

It was gone as quickly.

Daniel opened his eyes a second later. //God, what happened?//

"Good question. What did just happen?" Jack asked, looking first at Daniel and then at Teal'c and Carter.

Daniel hadn't realized he'd spoken out loud. He turned to Jack and smiled. "I think we just got married."

At least Jack laughed. "Ya think?"

"That's what the obelisk was talking about. At least, that's what I think it was talking about. The joining of body and soul."

"Ok-ay. I want a divorce." //And we had to lift a ton of rock for that? The things we do for our resident geek.//

"Don't call me a geek," Daniel snapped in surprise. Jack hadn't called him a geek in years. Well, not to his face anyway.

"I didn't." Jack looked momentarily confused and defensive.

But Daniel had heard him, loud and clear. It wasn't like Jack to lie. "You did. I heard you."

Jack looked at Sam. "Did I?"

She shook her head. "No, sir."

"There, you see?" Jack was looking guilty and frowning. Then he sighed heavily. "I didn't speak it."

 

"But you thought it?" //Can you hear me?// Daniel thought at him.

"Yes. I can hear you just fine. You don't need to yell." Wincing, Jack touched his head, and then shook it as if to clear it.

"I didn't speak."

Jack looked at Sam again. "He didn't, sir."

"Daniel Jackson said nothing," Teal'c confirmed, looking from one to the other, his frown more pronounced than usual.

"Houston, we have a problem." Despite the joking words, Jack looked grim, frightened almost. //Big honking problem.//

Daniel nodded, shivering a little.

"What does the obelisk say? Perhaps there is a clue in the words," Teal'c suggested, nodding at the base.

"As I told Jack, I think it's a ceremony of some kind, something to do with joining. I can't completely make out all the words without some of my books." Daniel shrugged; he only recognized about one word in three.

"Can't you translate it?" Jack said. //Would really like to know what kind of ceremony and what it was used for.//

"I'm sorry. Not all of the words. But I think it says that each participant will be joined to the other for all eternity."

"Sweet." //Fuck. That's the last thing I need.//

"I'm not happy about the idea either, Jack." Daniel didn't even want to think about the implications. "I have no idea what we can do about it, either."

"Perhaps if we leave here the... " Sam shrugged without a word to define the problem and ended up waving her hand between them. "Will go away."

"God, I hope so." Jack said. //I have a bad feeling about this.//

Daniel met Jack's eyes. //Me too.//

"Don't do that." Jack looked away from Daniel. "All right. I think we should go back to base and see if we can get Doc. Fraiser to figure this out."

"Don't you think we should look around and see if we can find more information?" Daniel did not want to leave here like this.

Jack was silent for a moment. "The UAV didn't show any structures or buildings. Aside from the platform, we haven't found any trace of human life here, now. I don't think there is anyone who can explain what happened."

//I can guarantee that Dr. Fraiser can't.//

"How do you know that?"

Daniel looked at him and sighed. "I didn't say it out loud. Can you try not to read my thoughts?"

"I would be more than happy to not read your thoughts, if you tell me how I can avoid it."

//I wish I knew.// Daniel shrugged.

"Back to base." Jack nodded back the way they came. "Dial us home, Carter."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

//Well?// Jack thought as he stepped through the event horizon and onto the ramp, hopeful there might be a miracle and whatever had happened to them had reversed itself when they left.

 

Daniel shook his head. //Sorry.//

//Yeah, me too.// Jack hadn't really believed leaving would help, but stranger things had happened. And usually to them.

General Hammond and the usual contingent of SFs stood at the bottom of the ramp as they came through. The General looked worried. "You're back early, SG-1."

"General, we have a slight problem," Jack said, stepping off the ramp and facing his commanding officer. //This is so bad.//

"It sure is," Daniel sighed as he answered, moving to stand beside Jack.

Hammond shot Daniel a strange look, but addressed Jack. "What is the problem, Colonel?"

"Daniel and I seem to have..." Jack hesitated, wondering exactly how to put it. It was going to sound ridiculous no matter what he said.

"Become telepathically linked," Daniel finished for him, rarely having a problem finding the right words.

"You're joking." Hammond's face went pale.

"I only wish I was." Jack shook his head.

"Report to the infirmary, immediately. Both of you. All of you." The General's look took in the remaining members of SG-1 as well. "We'll debrief after Dr. Fraiser has had a chance to assess the situation."

"Yes, sir." Jack nodded towards his team.

* * *

Dr. Fraiser dispatched the usual exams with efficiency, then began testing Jack and Daniel's newfound abilities. Jack thought the whole thing was pretty silly. She had him and Daniel reading cards across a table from each other.

"Daniel," Fraiser said, standing beside the table between them. "Hold up the first card and think about what it is."

"It's a flower," Jack said, already bored with the game. He knew what Daniel was seeing, could see it in his mind as soon as Daniel recognized it.

Daniel held up the next one.

"It's a six pointed star."

"Actually," Daniel said in a tone Jack had come to know preceded a lecture. "It's a Star of David, also known as the Shield of David. A symbol of the Jewish faith. A relatively new symbol too. It was supposed to represent the emblem on King David's shield, but historians haven't found much support for the claim in early rabbinic literature..."

"Daniel." Jack put a touch of whine in his tone - not that he needed to, since he was sure that Daniel could read what he was thinking.

"Hmm?" Daniel looked up. "Oh, sorry. Just trying to make it more interesting."

"Go on to the next one, Daniel," Dr. Fraiser requested, a slight edge to her tone. She sounded like she wasn't pleased with the additions they'd made to the test.

"Okay." Daniel smiled at her and dutifully held up the next card.

"It's not just a plane. It's a B-52 Bomber." Jack decided he could play this game, too.

Daniel quirked an eyebrow at him. "And I'm supposed to recognize it? From a drawing? Please."

"I did." Jack smirked as Daniel made a choking sound. //I do know my planes. Air Force, remember.//

Fraiser sighed. "Next."

"It's a table," Jack said. Nothing to argue about there. He could feel Daniel agree.

"Yep. Table." Daniel showed the card to Fraiser and held up the next one.

Oh, but this one. He could not pass it up. "It's more than just a fish, Daniel, it's a striped bass. Might even be one from my favorite lake in northern Minnesota."

"It's a fish." Daniel glared at him. //It's just a fucking fish.//

//Fish don't fuck.//

//I can tell you what they do do. In detail, if you'd like.// Daniel smiled sweetly at him, and Jack knew way better than to trust that smile. It would be like trusting a cat that smiled at you like that.

Jack shook his head. //Not necessary.//

"I think we've seen enough," Fraiser said, taking the rest of the cards from Daniel.

"Hey, don't I get to try?" Jack asked. This had potential after all. Trust the doc to put an end to what little fun he was likely to get out of this.

Fraiser handed him back the cards. "I think we'll try and reverse it this time, and from a distance."

//Yeah, sure, why not?// Jack stood. "Where to?"

"Colonel. Go topside to the guard station and call us when you get there."

Topside was no different. Daniel could read his thoughts and see what was in his mind as soon as he recognized the object. They refrained from their earlier extraneous observations and stuck to what they saw.

Being topside also yielded another interesting development. Jack wanted to be back with Daniel.

"Okay, Daniel," Fraiser said, facing them as they sat side by side on one of the beds. "Tell me what you felt when the Colonel was gone and what you felt when he returned."

Daniel's forehead creased with concentration. "It wasn't quite a..."

"Compulsion." Jack said, knowing that Daniel was searching for the right word and now thinking that one worked fine.

//Thanks.// "It was more like a craving for something -- like chocolate. You can ignore it, but you still want it."

"Yeah." Jack could only agree. It was hard to define because he could ignore it, but it... pulled at him. He could feel Daniel agree with his assessment.

"And when the Colonel came back, it was gone?" Dr. Fraiser asked, her brow creased in concentration. It was pretty obvious she didn't have a clue what to do. Not that Jack blamed her, they hadn't run into this before. And hopefully when it was all settled, they wouldn't again anytime soon. If they got it settled. //I have a really bad feeling about this.//

"Me, too." Daniel turned to him, grimacing. "We should speak out loud."

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I guess we should."

"More tests?" Daniel asked.

Fraiser shook her head. "No. Not until tomorrow. We'll debrief at 18:00."

"Fine." Jack said. That would give him enough time to get his summary report done and he could work on the rest of it tomorrow. Suddenly he was very tired. "What's on tap for tomorrow?"

Fraiser looked at him. "I want to run another brain scan tomorrow and see if there are any changes. But I can see that you are definitely telepathically linked."

//No shit, Sherlock.//

"Jack!" Daniel looked at him, and couldn't quite suppress a smile.

//This is going to get old very quickly.//

"Already is."

"Stop it, Daniel."

"I would if I could. Stop thinking."

 

Jack tried to blank his mind, but it wouldn't last. He knew it and so did Daniel. And of course, when you didn't want to think about something, or in his case anything, your mind refused to settle.

The debriefing with General Hammond was anti-climactic. There wasn't anything to know yet, so no one had anything to say. They were all on stand-down and he and Daniel were restricted to base until the situation could be resolved one way or another.

* * *

The next morning, Dr. Fraiser continued doing her testing thing, and both he and Daniel put up with it with as much grace as possible, especially since she found nothing of interest, except a slight increase in their brain activity and no way to fix the problem. By mid-morning they were dismissed to go back to work, since there was nothing wrong with them physically.

He and Daniel parted easily for their separate offices. Jack spent the rest of the morning writing his report, aware of Daniel, aware of his working on the translation, aware of wanting to see him, and aware that Daniel wanted to see him too, but both of them could ignore the constant pull.

He and Daniel met for lunch in the commissary, chatting easily about inconsequential things, studiously avoiding what was happening between them, as if talking about it would somehow make it worse. They played at two pals having a quick lunch. But when they would have parted for their respective offices, they found it difficult to turn away. Standing across the corridor, looking at each other for a moment, neither he nor Daniel wanted either to leave or to give into the pull.

//Daniel? It's getting worse.// Jack could hear the fear in his own mind voice and didn't have to ask if Daniel heard it too. It was so difficult to filter out his emotions or put the proper spin on things when it went directly from his mind to Daniel's.

"Yeah, I feel it. And I can pretty much get everything you're thinking." Daniel didn't comment on Jack's thoughts beyond that.

"Should we force it?" The pull wasn't going to be easy to ignore this time and Jack didn't want to. Really didn't want to.

Daniel shrugged, but it was clear that he didn't want to try it either. "It only seems to make it worse. I mean, we only spent a few hours apart and look where it got us."

Well, they couldn't stand in the corridor the rest of the day. Jack sighed. "What did you have planned for this afternoon?"

"Work on the translation. You?"

"Finish up my paperwork." //There always seems to be a fucking ton of it.//

Nodding, Daniel put his arms around himself in a familiar gesture. "Should we see Dr. Fraiser about this latest development?"

"Do you think it's going to help?" Jack knew the answer to that question and Daniel confirmed it by shaking his head. "We should probably keep her apprized of the situation, anyway."

//Yeah, good idea.// "So?"

"So. What if I get my laptop and work in your office?" Jack asked. It was a lot easer for him to move to Daniel's office than it was to lug a bunch of heavy books to his, not to mention that Daniel's office was bigger and had a comfortable couch to sit on.

"Fine." Daniel started to move away. Looking back at Jack, he shrugged helplessly and nodded toward the corridor.

Sighing, Jack looked down and then back at him. "Right. Come with me, and we'll stop by the infirmary on the way to my office."

* * *

The afternoon passed quietly. After finishing his last report, Jack stood and stretched. "How about something to eat?" Cherry pie sounded pretty tasty right about now, even if the commissary didn't do a great job with it. It was edible and sweet. That was all he cared about at the moment.

"No. No pie for me. You go on. Bring me back some coffee, would you?"

Jack could almost feel Daniel's caffeine carving. It was too weird for words. But he smiled. "Sure." And Jack stepped to open the office door and stopped. //Damn.//

//Fuck.// Daniel looked up from his laptop, and across the room to Jack, grimacing theatrically.

//Even better.//

//Actually. I'd rather not, if you don't mind.//

Jack laughed. //I meant as an epithet. But me neither on that one. Come with?//

He could feel Daniel not wanting to go and not wanting to trap him in his office either. This whole thing had gotten old this morning; now it was starting to be really annoying.

But Daniel stood. "Okay. Let's go."

He felt bad making Daniel go, but he was hungry and wanted a snack. Looking at Daniel, he could see the irritation of the interruption, but more than that, he could feel it. Not as if it were his own, but remotely, vaguely, not quite as if he were the one feeling it.

Daniel looked at him, something akin to horror in his eyes. "You can feel what I'm feeling?"

"Yeah. And it's fucking strange. Because I know it's not what I'm feeling, but I'm still feeling it. Ya know?"

Nodding, Daniel closed his eyes for a moment. "I can feel you feeling this is strange."

//It's getting even worse. Have I mentioned that I have a bad feeling about this?// Jack could feel Daniel agreeing with him. "Stop at the infirmary before we go?"

Daniel nodded. Nothing else they could do but continue to track the progress.

It had been less than twenty-four hours and they couldn't leave each other's presence. A stop at the men's room brought home just how bad the situation had gotten. Jack leaned on the stall door from the outside as Daniel used the facilities. Where did it end? Or did it? And if it didn't... God, he could not go there.

Fraiser looked at them and sighed. "I don't have to tell you it's getting worse."

//Master of redundant information.// Jack could feel Daniel mentally snicker. "Nope, doc. Figured that one out all by ourselves."

"I'm going to run the brain scan now and another MRI."

He looked at Daniel, but he didn't have to. He could sense the annoyance and that Daniel thought this was going to be a waste of time.

//What should we do?// Jack thought as he watched Fraiser put Daniel through his paces. He would be next, not that it would show anything more than it was going to show on Daniel. Waste of time. Fraiser didn't know what any of it meant and probably still wouldn't.

//Don't know. But we have to do something. And I think sooner rather than later.// Daniel's mind voice sounded a bit irritated and scared.

//Stating the obvious there, Daniel. What about the Asgard ? They might know something or know someone who could help.//

//They aren't telepaths and I don't think they can help. Not to mention they are still pretty busy with the replicators.// Daniel was silent for a moment. //What about the Nox or the Tollans?// The machine noise was starting to give Daniel a headache.

And to give one to Jack, too. "Yeah, what about them? Can we get a message to one of them?"

Fraiser turned to look at him. "Get a message to whom?"

"The Nox or the Tollan. They might be able to help with this."

She opened her mouth to say something, and then just nodded. "It might not be a bad idea to ask."

"That's what I thought. To get in touch with the Nox, we'd need to contact the Tollan anyway. So let's go with them." There had to be a way to fix this. Jack refused to believe otherwise.

//God, I hope so,// Daniel's voice whispered into his brain.

* * *

As it turned out, there were a few more problems to deal with they hadn't counted on. There was no question of sleeping in separate rooms that night. By the time they were ready to bed down in Jack's quarters, Daniel was about as uncomfortable as he could ever remember being in his life. The communal living on Abydos wasn't like this; the illusion of privacy had been enough for him.

He'd never slept in the same bed with another man in his life -- it just wasn't done. Even wearing his grey sweat pants and t-shirt, he felt exposed. Daniel could not believe how relaxed Jack was, how he didn't have a problem with any of the close quarters.

Jack sat down on the bed and looked at him. "I don't have a problem with it. I've shared any number of sleeping spaces with any number of people."

Daniel felt like he should apologize for his discomfort, but he knew that was ridiculous.

//You didn't spend your entire adult life in the military where communal showers and communal sleeping are a way of life,// Jack pointed out, easily speaking into his mind.

//No. I spent most of my life alone. Privacy was never an issue. I always had more of it than I needed or wanted.//

Daniel sat down on the bed, his thigh and hip touching Jack's. For a moment, the pull eased completely. //I just can't believe I'm going to get into bed with you, and that it doesn't bother you at all.//

/Just keep your hands to yourself.// Jack laughed, supremely unconcerned by the prospect. //Oh, and don't steal the blankets. We'll be fine.//

//Not an issue -- any of it -- I promise you.//

//It will be fine. Don't be so nervous//

 

//How can I be anything else? Jesus Jack, we can't move more than a few feet from each other.// "And have you noticed how easily we've started to use the telepathy?" He looked at Jack. "We speak in our heads as if we've done it forever."

 

"I did notice. It seems..." Jack was silent for a moment, and Daniel could hear him thinking about what to say, about how natural if felt. Looking up, Jack smiled. "Something's got to give soon."

//Yeah, and it's going to be our minds.// Daniel very much afraid of what this might do to them, both in the short term and the long term. "We can't keep this up."

Daniel felt a surge of suppressed fear and protectiveness from Jack. To think it was to say it and now it seemed like to feel it was to send it.

"It is going to be okay." Jack put his hand comfortingly on Daniel's arm.

He knew and Jack knew he wasn't being comforted by his touch. "You don't really feel that. You're scared too."

Turning to look right at him, Jack sighed. "Of course I am. But tomorrow we'll go see the Tollan and maybe they can fix this. The Tollan owe us."

"They do at that." But that didn't necessarily mean that they could fix this problem.

"Lie down," Jack ordered, lying down himself and pulling Daniel's hand to tug him beside him.

It was so strange, to lie in bed with a man. Uncomfortable. He was vibrating with nervous tension. He tried to keep his mind blank, but that only made it worse.

"Daniel. Calm down. I know you don't think I'm going to hurt you. So what's your problem?" Jack was sounding very amused again.

And that annoyed Daniel. "You want to tell me how I'm supposed to do that? Calm down, I mean?" //I see my brain melting into yours and never coming out again.//

"Ouch. I think I've been insulted, but I'm not sure how." That amused tone wasn't going away either.

"Jack. Shut up," Daniel snapped, shifting onto his back and then staring up at the ceiling. Maybe if he counted sheep...

//Go to sleep,// Jack whispered in his mind soothingly, all traces of amusement gone for the moment.

//I'm trying.//

//Did anyone ever tell you that you think too damned much? It can't be good for you.//

Daniel wanted to growl at him. Anything to get Jack to shut up, to leave him alone. But there was no alone now. //Why wasn't this bothering Jack as much? Maybe he didn't have enough brain function to be afraid of losing it. Maybe Jack didn't care about getting lost in someone else's mind. Maybe any mind was better than his own...//

//Maybe it is time to go to sleep.// Jack's thoughts had interrupted his tirade and Daniel regretted what he'd thought immediately, knowing Jack had heard it all.

"Daniel. Give it a rest."

Starting to count in Abydonian, Daniel willed himself to fall asleep. After a long while, he finally did.

* * *

 

Daniel woke feeling safe and warm. Taking stock of the unusual situation, he found himself lying on his side, his chest pressed to Jack's back, one arm draped over Jack's waist and a thigh insulated between Jack's knees. Oh, and his morning hard-on pressed wantonly to Jack's ass.

//Oh, shoot me now,// Daniel thought with a deep groan of humiliation. Anytime he got too close to someone in bed, he was all over them like white on rice. He used to wake up wrapped around Sha're every morning, not that she minded that much. But this... God, he was so pathetic. Trying to gently pull his arm back, he hoped to inch away from Jack without waking him.

Too late. He felt Jack's mind become conscious, threat assess the situation, and then sigh. Would have been funny, really, if he weren't going to die of embarrassment.

Backing up quickly, so that none of him was touching any of Jack, Daniel sighed. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Jack's voice was soothing and unperturbed. "Really."

"Oh, yeah, you enjoy being mauled in your sleep."

Jack turned over. "Look, this situation is so out of the ordinary, we need to cut each other some slack until we can fix it."

"You seem to think we _can_ fix it."

"I'm sure it can be fixed."

And surprisingly, Daniel could tell Jack really did believe that. He, however, did not. He had no confidence whatsoever that this could be fixed in any kind of satisfying way.

Sitting up, Jack glanced down at him. "I'm supposed to meet with the General at 0800 for our regular status meeting, and you're going to have to come with me. So, lets get a move on. I'm gonna shower."

Jack stood. //Damn.//

Daniel felt it too. The pull had increased.

"I guess we'll be showering together," Jack said, taking a step away from the bed, but going no further. "Come on, Daniel."

The men's room scene yesterday had been more embarrassing than Daniel could deal with. "I don't need a shower."

Making a point of sniffing the air, Jack glared at him. "Yes, actually, you do. But even if you didn't, _I_ do. So, up and at 'em."

Reluctantly, Daniel sat up. But his mind was still muzzy and morning was never his best time. He needed coffee to get started. Damn, he should have thought to bring his coffee maker with him.

"Daniel."

He could feel Jack's impatience. "I'm coming." He really did not want to do this. It was too intimate, too embarrassing, too close to even think about. Pushing himself to his feet, Daniel followed Jack into the small bathroom.

Without a glance in his direction, Jack shucked off his sweat pants and t-shirt, tossing them to the floor, then stood in front of the toilet.

Screwing his eyes shut, Daniel refused to watch. He tried hard not to think about what Jack was doing or what he needed to do himself. Jack's amusement came through in his mind very clearly.

"What's so damned funny?" Daniel was getting seriously pissed off by Jack's attitude. He hated being laughed at, especially for something that was out of his control.

"You are. Come on, Daniel, you've used a urinal in a men's room before." Jack turned on the shower taps and put his hand under the spray to test the heat.

"True. But that was different." //Very different. Totally different.//

"How? How is it different?" Jack cocked an eyebrow at him in that way that meant he really wanted to know.

"This..." He waved a hand between them. "This is so much more intimate. I felt the pressure releasing in your body."

Jack nodded and then sighed. "Avert your eyes and try not to think about it."

//How?// He looked at Jack, who shrugged and got into the shower, closing the plastic curtain. He felt the pull. Hard.

Jack opened it again. //Oh fuck. This is such a pain.//

Daniel could not agree more.

"Unless you get in with me, we'll flood the floor."

Daniel looked at the small space and at Jack's naked wet body and shook his head. "I can't."

"Fine. Then you can clean it up."

"You're going to shower anyway?"

"Damned right I am." Jack picked up the soap and started to lather his body. Watching in horrified fascination as Jack ignored him, Daniel couldn't move, couldn't turn his eyes away even as his mind screamed at him to do so. He knew he was being ridiculous, and could feel Jack's slight irritation with him for his attitude, but he could not help it. This was too close to home. He could not deal with it.

"Hand me a towel." Jack held out his dripping hand and Daniel handed him a towel. At least, he'd been quick about it.

Jack dried himself briskly, and wrapped the towel around his waist. "Your turn."

Closing his eyes for a moment, Daniel took a deep breath steeling himself and pulled his t-shirt over his head, then dropped his pants. Jack was shaving, doing his level best to ignore Daniel completely and give him at least the illusion of privacy.

It was enough, more than he deserved, really. Daniel used the toilet and then got into the shower, carefully keeping his eyes down and his mind blank. It worked more or less; he made it through without further embarrassment.

After they had dressed, he and Jack made a coffee run -- which he needed desperately -- and then headed towards the General's office. Walking close together, and in step, their shoulders brushed occasionally. The contact felt good, a jolt of pleasure, in a not-sexual, comfort kind of way. It made Daniel very nervous.

* * *

Jack knocked on the General's door, waiting until he heard a reply before opening the door. He held it open for Daniel to proceed ahead of him.

"Dr. Jackson?" Hammond's voice conveyed his surprise at having Daniel join them in the meeting.

Jack sighed. "We need to be in line-of-sight now."

Hammond nodded, waving them both to the seats in front of his desk. "So it continues to get stronger."

"Pretty much, sir. And there doesn't seem to be anything that Dr. Fraiser can do for us." Jack sat down where indicated, meeting the General's eyes, and seeing the deep concern in them.

Hammond sat back in his chair. "I'm sorry, but we haven't heard anything back from the Tollan yet."

"Request permission to go anyway."

"Uh... Jack," Daniel said, his tone hesitant, as it always was when he was going to say something Jack didn't like.

But this time, Jack knew what Daniel was going to say before he said it, well out loud anyway. "Daniel, I don't think we can wait."

"I think we have to. We can't just show up and demand that they help us. We don't want to insult them."

"Dr. Jackson is right," Hammond said, looking at Jack. "I don't think you'll get very far that way. And you... we need their help."

"With all due respect, sir, I disagree." Jack sighed. "This isn't going to get any better, and frankly I'm pretty damned worried about how much worse it's going to get." A shudder ran through Jack as he thought about not knowing how much worse, how much more intimate this thing could possible become.

The General shook his head. "Jack, you are both dealing with this now. We should hear something today."

Jack let out a deep breath and met the General's eyes. "Sir, Daniel slept in my bed last night. Okay. We are so not dealing with it."

The General's face turned bright red and he looked away, coughing.

//You just blew "don't ask, don't tell," Jack.// Daniel's mind voice was somewhere between amused and shocked into next week.

//Fuck no!// "Not don't ask, don't tell. I swear it." Jack was horrified, not so much by the idea that he would have sex with Daniel -- that wasn't his cup of tea -- but that the General might think he'd take advantage of Daniel that way.

His face clearing, Hammond sighed. "I understand what you're saying. And you have a go, but take the rest of SG-1 with you."

Jack stood, feeling relieved and hopeful. "Thank you, sir. Let's go, Daniel."

"Jack?" He and Daniel turned back to look at the General. "If it does come to don't ask, don't tell. Don't tell me, okay. I can't know that." Then Hammond met his eyes. "Not officially, anyway."

Shaking his head, Jack grimaced. "It won't, sir. Not a chance in hell."

//Oh, God.// Daniel groaned in his mind as he closed the door, embarrassment spiking through him.

//You don't think it's going to come to that, do you?// The idea was too foreign to Jack to even consider.

Daniel shrugged his shoulders. //I don't know. I really don't.//

//That so doesn't inspire confidence, Daniel.//

//Sorry.//

But he really wasn't and Jack could tell.

 

* * *

Equipped and ready to go within the hour, Jack walked up the ramp with Daniel at his side. Teal'c and Carter went first. As he and Daniel were about to step through, he had the worst urge to take Daniel's hand.

//You feel it, too?// Daniel asked as they paused for one second to look at each other.

Right before they hit the event horizon, Jack took hold of Daniel's hand, hoping no one saw him, but absolutely needing the contact.

As soon as they were on the other side, several people gathered to look at them, some wincing, some looking disapproving. //What? They don't get visitors to Tollana? // Jack thought.

"Well, it's not like we were invited," Daniel pointed out as he scanned the few people around them. None of them looked threatening.

Carter turned to look at them for a second, and then joined Teal'c in front of them. Although Tollana was not a place they expected trouble, they were armed nonetheless.

An older woman stepped forward, her grey hair swept back away from her thin disapproving face. She ignored Teal'c and Carter, addressing Jack and Daniel. "Why have you not completed the bond?"

A young man standing next to her asked, "How do you stand it?"

Several others turned away in disgust.

Daniel moved past Carter to speak to the woman. "I'm Daniel Jackson. We haven't completed the bond because we don't know how to do it."

//Uh... Let's be clear on this, we don't want to complete it, we want to break it.// Jack could not imagine living like this for any length of time. //The sooner the better.//

A pulse of agreement came from Daniel.

The first woman who had spoken shook her head. "Why did you initiate it, if you had no idea how to complete it?"

"It was an accident." Daniel said, his voice perfectly pleasant, but Jack could feel and shared his annoyance at the stupid question.

"No one initiates a bond of this kind by accident." The woman folded her arms over her chest and just looked at them as if they were idiots.

 

"We did." Daniel looked back, his attempt at smiling fading fast. The woman shook her head in disgust and started to turn toward the building to their right. "Wait." She turned back to look at them. "Can you help us?"

"That is not for me to do. But Chancellor Travell comes now, perhaps she can help you." The woman walked away, seemingly supremely unconcerned with their plight.

Chancellor Travell approached, and stopped before them. "We had planned to send a message to you this morning."

"Couldn't wait," Jack said.

"So I see. Why have you not-"

"We've already been through that," Jack snapped. "We didn't do this on purpose. We don't know how to break it."

Chancellor Travell stared at them. "Where and how did you do it?"

Daniel sighed and explained the situation in a few concise sentences. "Can you help us to break the... connection?"

Shuddering visibly, she shook her head. "Why would you want to break it? Even with its dubious origin, it is still a rare and wonderful gift."

"Gift or no, we'd rather just get rid of it." Jack didn't care about gifts, just about getting things back to normal - or at least what passed for normal in his life.

Travell turned to look at him. "Have you done anything with the obelisk you found?"

"No," Jack said, sounding and feeling impatient. "Been a little busy here. Just trying to deal with this. Are you going to help us?"

"No. I'm sorry. I can't. " She held up her hand before he or Daniel could get a word out. "But I believe I know a people who can."

"Thank you." Jack meant it in the most heartfelt way. He also realized he hadn't let go of Daniel's hand yet. And that both Teal'c and Carter must have noticed by now.

She looked at both of them. "You may not be so grateful when they are done."

"Whatcha mean?" But Jack knew already that he wasn't going to like what she was going to tell him.

"I don't believe the bond can be broken and certainly not before it is complete."

Jack did not want to hear that. "Huh? Why not?"

"From what you are telling me about the device, it created a powerful bond between you. It can't be broken without serious damage to your minds," Travell said with a sigh.

Jack nodded. The last thing he needed was to have his mind any more fucked up than it already was.

"Do you know what the device is, or who built it?" Daniel asked, his mind already trying to piece together a theory from what he'd learned in the translation and whatever her answer might be.

Travell nodded. "I believe it was one of the ancient races. It was done to force one mind into another, but I can't be sure without more information. Not all of the old races were pleasant."

Daniel nodded. "I see. I got that from what I've been able to translate so far, but I can't help but wonder why they would want to do that."

When Travell would have answered, Jack held up his hand to forestall her. "Daniel, can we do this later?" //Sorry, Danny. You'll go on all day if I let you."//

"Jack, this is important."

Travell nodded. "It is, Dr. Jackson. But Colonel O'Neill is correct, we should discuss it later."

Daniel shot him an annoyed look. //We've waited this long.//

//Holding hands, Daniel. This isn't going to wait much longer.//

//I was curious. Shoot me.//

//Later. I promise.// Jack could feel Daniel sigh.

 

Travell turned to look at Carter and Teal'c. "You both will be unable to accompany Colonel O'Neill and Dr. Jackson.

"What?" Carter looked decidedly unhappy by this turn of events. "Sir, I can't let you and Daniel go into an unknown situation without back-up."

"I concur with Major Carter." Teal'c squared his shoulders and glared at Travell. "It would be unwise to travel into an unknown situation without adequate protection."

Not to mention the fact that Jack now only had one hand that was useful since the other didn't seem to want to let go of Daniel. And Daniel with both hands wasn't that useful...

//Thanks, Jack.// Daniel's irritation at the put down came across loud and clear, as did the promise of revenge.

"I'm sorry." Travell shook her head. "I'm taking a risk bringing Dr. Jackson and Colonel O'Neill to this world. I would not further insult them by bringing other outsiders who don't need to be there."

Carter looked at him. "Sir?"

"I don't think we have much choice, here." He hated being dependent upon someone else's good will. But he wasn't in any position to argue.

//True. We need them.//

"You will not need your weapons."

"Ah! I..." Jack started to protest.

Daniel glared at him. //Jack! Don't. Okay?//

Jack turned to glare back at Daniel. //We need _some_ protection.//

Unholstering his sidearm, Daniel handed it to Carter, then looked at Jack, clearly waiting for him to do the same thing. Which he did, after a moment and with bad grace.

With a look taking in both Teal'c and Carter, Travell nodded. "You have my word that no harm will come to either of them."

//Yeah, like we haven't heard that too many times before.// Jack knew he was being unfair, but he hated situations like this. Really, really hated them.

//These are our allies. We'll be fine.// Daniel sent a soothing pulse at him, but it did nothing to alleviate Jack's nervousness.

Cater looked at him and Jack shrugged. "Go back to the SGC and let 'em know what's happened. We'll be in touch as soon as we can." Both Teal'c and Carter looked reluctant to move, but he shook his head. "Go, already."

Travell touched something on her wrist and the Stargate activated. She nodded towards it. "When you are ready."

Carter entered the numbers into the GDO and then handed it to Daniel. "You'll need it to get back."

Daniel nodded. "Thanks."

"Tell Hammond we'll get in touch as soon as we can," Jack said as Carter and Teal'c went through the Stargate. "All right, where to now?" He turned to look at Travell.

"I will not tell you where we are going. This world does not wish to be known." She paused and touched her wrist. The Stargate engaged again.

"Then how do you know about it?" Jack asked as he took a step forward, tramping down his fear even as he knew Daniel had felt it. Just like he'd felt Daniel's.

"That is not your concern." She smiled. "Come."

Jack and Daniel followed her through the event horizon.

* * *

Part 2

 

They stepped through the gate on the other side and Daniel was taken aback by the beauty of the town. They were apparently in the town-center. Yellow brick buildings with large glass windows and steel accents were artfully arranged among the rolling green hills. Everything seemed to be connected by paths, and he saw nothing that resembled a vehicle. The people looked human to him. He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but the sheer simplicity and lovely landscape was a pleasant surprise.

Jack nodded. "It's beautiful."

"It is," Travell agreed.

The people around the Stargate seemed to cringe away from them, almost as if they were in pain.

"They feel the incomplete bond, and are disturbed by it." Travell said, stepping down from the pedestal where the gate was located, but she moved no further than the edge of the larger platform surrounding the area.

"Shouldn't we go do something, go somewhere?" Jack asked, after a couple of minutes of waiting, his impatience seeping through in his words.

"No. We will wait here." Travell looked at Jack with something akin to annoyance on her face, but her tone was polite when she spoke. "They know we are here and will come when they are ready."

The wait was mercifully short after that. A thin, nervous looking man approached, inclining his head when he reached them. "Chancellor Travell. We are honored, if a bit surprised, by your presence."

"It is good to see you again, Baran." Travell smiled at him. "These men are of the Earth. Colonel Jack O'Neill and Dr. Daniel Jackson."

Jack inclined his head and said, "Hiya."

Daniel nodded. "Your city is very beautiful."

"Thank you." Baran grimaced, giving them a pained half-smile. "Your world is known to us."

"How do you know us?" Daniel asked, wondering if they were of Earth stock, too. And if they were, how had they come to live on this planet?

Turning to Travell, Baran ignored Daniel's question. "Why have you brought them here?"

As Jack started to say something else, Travell held up her hand to silence him. For once, he obeyed.

"I request Savah's help for them." Travell said with a graceful wave of her hand between him and Jack.

"Yes. Yes, of course. I shall take you to her." He held out his hand for them to precede him on the path.

//Savah?// Jack asked as he followed Travell.

Daniel shrugged. //Probably a healer of some kind.//

//God, I hope so.//

As they followed along a brick pathway, Daniel could not help but be amused by Jack singing, "Follow the yellow brick road" in his head and swinging their joined hands as they walked.

Sometimes Jack could be such a child, Daniel thought fondly.

//Not a kid,// Jack complained with good humor. //Forty-five.//

//How many times have you seen that movie?// Daniel could not begin to count the references he'd heard over the years he'd known Jack.

A wistful sigh drifted through his mind. //Many times. It was Charlie's favorite movie.//

Before Daniel could come up with a suitable reply, they arrived at what he supposed was a house or clinic of some kind. He could not immediately read the words on the plaque by the door and when he would have bent to get a closer look, Jack's hand shot out and pushed him through the doorway.

//Hey! I wanted to look at that.//

//Later. Now we have more important things to do.//

He supposed that Jack did have a point.

"Neemah will wish to see you before you go," Baran said to Travell as he left them in the foyer of the house they'd entered. Daniel barely had a chance to glance around, before a stately woman came through the doorway to the left of them. "Travell?"

"Savah, greetings. I am in need of your services."

"So I see." She turned to look at Daniel and Jack. "Why..."

"Because we don't know how," Jack said, pointedly. Daniel could feel how tired he was of the question. He tried to send another soothing pulse Jack's way, but wasn't sure it got there.

Jack looked down and sighed. "Sorry. You're not the first person to ask us that question."

"I understand your impatience." She smiled at them. "I will help you to complete the bond and then all will be well."

"Uh... actually," Daniel said, pausing and then pushing on. "We don't want to complete it. We'd really like to break it."

Savah's smile faded. "Why would you wish to break it?"

"Because it was done in error," Travell told her. "These humans are not meant to have such bonds as this."

Shaking her head slowly, Savah took a step back, looking faintly horrified. "It cannot be broken, not before it is completed."

"Oh, there must be some way to get rid of it," Jack said, moving a little closer to Daniel.

Savah shook her head again. "I don't know of a way. I can only help you to complete it. You may be able to separate yourselves once it is done."

"Perhaps after you have completed the bond, you will no longer wish to separate," Travell suggested, but it was clear she didn't believe that.

Neither did Daniel. Nor Jack for that matter. //What should we do now?//

Jack looked at him, fear he could not hide in his eyes and his mind. //I'd say we have to complete the bond and hope we can break it afterward. We can't go on like this.//

Daniel nodded. //I think so, too. But I don't have a good feeling about this.//

//I don't either.// Jack turned to look back at Savah. "What do we need to do now?"

"Travell can wait here," Savah said, holding out her hand for them to follow her. "Come."

 

She led them to a nicely furnished room. Almost like an expensive hotel. A big wooden bed dominated the room, and two well-stuffed chairs stood beside it. Daniel found the yellowish cast to the wood fascinating; he'd never seen anything like it. He wondered if it were natural or if they produced it somehow.

//Now is not the time for this.// Jack's voice rang in his head and Daniel turned to glare at him as Jack sat down on the bed. "What next?"

"You will lie on the bed, and hold each other closely. When you are ready, relaxed, I will lead you to the start of the bonding."

"The start?" Daniel asked. "I thought you were going to lead us though it."

"No. I cannot enter either of your minds very deeply, not without becoming joined with you. So I will show you how to begin and you will go on."

"And if we get into trouble?" Jack asked.

"I do not think that will be a problem."

"That's it?" Daniel heard Jack wondering if it could possibly be that easy.

"No. Colonel O'Neill, it will not be simple or painless." Her gaze was sympathetic.

"How did you know what I was thinking?"

"I am a powerful telepath, even for my people. That is why Travell brought you to me." She sat down in one of the chairs. "I did not mean to invade your thoughts, but you are broadcasting quite loudly."

"You mean everyone can hear our thoughts?" Jack looked and felt horrified by the idea that anyone could hear him.

"This room is shielded. And no one would willingly invade your privacy. But if you are unshielded, and you and Dr. Jackson are, then they can't help but hear your thoughts."

"I don't know how to turn it off." Jack said, shaking his head.

Savah nodded. "I know. I have had a few dealings with people of your world. Being here for a little while will do no one any harm."

"Um, so you are a completely telepathic race? But you speak rather than communicate using the telepathy; why is that?" Daniel asked tentatively, wishing he had time to question her at length but already seeing her begin to look closed off. Maybe when they were finished here.

//Don't press your luck, Daniel. We need them right now.//

"That is correct. However, we are not here to speak of my race."

"Can you tell me- "

"No. I cannot." She shook her head sternly. "And you will not ask further. Correct?"

Oh, but he wanted to. Daniel nodded. "What should we do now?"

"You will take off you clothes and..."

//Clothes?// Daniel thought, appalled by the idea. //Off?//

"Exactly why?" Jack asked, as Daniel felt his unease jump up several notches.

Savah appeared amused by their reaction. "The more skin contact you have, the deeper the bond will be. Ideally, you would be making love to join, but- "

"Out of the question," Daniel sputtered, feeling his face turn eight shades of red and hating the images that jumped into his mind. He didn't want to go there.

"No." Jack shook his head, trying not to see the images in Daniel's mind. Where did he learn that kind of stuff anyway? "Do we want it that deep?"

Her mouth twitched at their response. "Yes, you want it to be deep. The deeper you can go, the better it will be for you both."

 

//I have a really bad feeling about this,// Jack's voice whispered in Daniel's head. "How are we supposed to get undressed?"

"Good question." Daniel hadn't been able to let go of Jack's hand since he'd taken it right before they left the SGC. And that had been hours ago.

"If you lean against each other, the need to hold hands will be relieved." Savah smiled. "Do you wish me to assist you?"

"No!" they both said in unison. But Daniel realized that if she were going to be in their minds, then she'd see a lot more than their naked bodies. He looked at her for confirmation, and she nodded.

"Do you want me to leave?"

Actually, he did, but it seemed ridiculous to say so and Daniel could feel Jack agree.

//Okay, clothes off. Let's give it a try.//

Daniel stepped forward until his thigh was resting against Jack's. Their hands let go. Jack stood and shrugged out of his jacket, tossing it to the floor, and then waited while Daniel did the same. The rest of their clothes came off awkwardly, but as the physical contact between them increased, Daniel was more aware of Jack's thoughts and feelings. Embarrassment and a weird kind of excitement moved through him, and he could feel Jack having a very similar reaction. He could also feel Jack not wanting him to mention it.

They maneuvered themselves onto the bed, lying down together, their limbs seeming to know what needed to be done. Being in a man's arms was something Daniel had never thought about until that moment, but he was far beyond worrying about it. He sighed, moving closer to Jack, the contact feeling good -- no, more than good, feeling right.

//Yeah, it does, doesn't it.// Jack rubbed Daniel's back softly.

"Now," Daniel said out loud.

She put a hand to each of their foreheads. "Kiss."

* * *

Jack didn't even voice a protest as he pressed his lips to Daniel's in a curiously sexless kiss -- and then he and Savah and Daniel were standing against a white background, white all around them, nothing to see. They were dressed in street clothes.

"You see yourselves as you wish to be seen."

As if that explained anything. "I don't understand. Wish to be seen." Jack looked down at himself, and yes, this was one of his most comfortable outfits. His favorite pair of old, worn jeans, a soft washed out t-shirt and his oldest and most favorite leather bomber jacket.

"Do I see you and Jack as you wish to be seen or as I wish to see you?" Daniel asked, looking down at his clothes.

Jack had to admit, Daniel looked good too, dressed as he was in navy chinos and a light blue shirt.

She paused and then said, "As you see yourself."

"Oh, okay." Daniel looked at Jack and then back at Savah. "What do we do now?"

"You will go to the center and then come back."

That made no sense whatsoever. "And that means?" Jack looked around at all the white, still not quite sure where they were or how they had gotten there.

"What can we expect to find on the way?" Daniel asked, looking around too.

 

"You will find what is in the other's heart and mind. All that you are will be revealed over the course of your journey."

Jack shuddered. "No. Bad idea. That would so not be a good thing." He tried to step back, but found he could not pull away.

"You must complete the bonding." She put a hand on his shoulder, pressing him until he stood very close to Daniel again.

But Jack knew he could not do this. He shook his head. "This isn't going to work."

Turning towards him, Daniel put his hands on Jack's shoulders and looked into his eyes. "We have no choice. We can't go on as we are. I'll help you."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Jack closed his eyes and tried to hold back the encroaching panic. "We aren't meant to know each other that well. No one is."

"Humans are not, you are correct. But you will. And if you allow it, it will make you more than you were." Savah's voice was calm and soothing. "Come, we must begin."

The white faded and reformed. A yellow brick pathway started in a spiral and ran outward into the distance.

Jack was amused despite his fear and the absolute certainty this was a gigantic mistake. "Oh, look, we're going to follow the yellow brick road."

Daniel laughed a little nervously. "Whatever works."

Looking at Savah, Jack raised an eyebrow. "You got this from my mind?"

"It was a familiar reference point. And we are in your mind, yours and Daniel's." Savah's face grew serious. "As I have said, this will not be easy, but follow it through and it will be worth the effort, I promise you." She pointed to the center of the spiral. "Start here."

They moved to the spot she indicated. "Will you be here when we are done?" Daniel asked, as they took the first step onto the path.

"No. I will know you have finished and check on you."

"Take my hand?" Daniel asked, holding out his hand to Jack as she faded away.

Jack took it, lacing their fingers together. "Onward."

* * *

The first step was easy, pleasant memories moving gently past him, and Jack enjoyed the emotions evoked by sweet scenes from both of their lives.

* * *

  
 __

"Sha're," Daniel whispered softly, smiling at her and hoping to put her at ease. "Let me please..."

She shook her head. "No. Husband, it is not for you to pleasure me, but for me to pleasure you."

Daniel looked at her lovingly as they sat naked on their sleeping pallet, the festivities finally over. She was so beautiful and he wanted her so badly. But he'd never known a woman who knew nothing about sex, not even when he'd had no idea himself. Okay, this couldn't be that hard. He'd go slow and see what she liked, make sure she was satisfied before he tried to take her. Hurting her would not be a good beginning to their life together.

"It would please me to touch you." His hand covered her breast, thumbs stroking over her nipple.

Sha're gasped at his touch, closing her eyes for a moment, allowing him access. "Husband, I feel so strange."

"Good strange, or bad strange?" Daniel smiled to himself, moving closer and kissing her neck.

She shuddered under his touch, arching her neck. "I am not sure."

"Do you wish me to stop?"

Laughing, she shook her head. "No."

Daniel bent his head to lick the other nipple, and she arched against his mouth.

"Dan-yel!" she gasped. "Oh, Dan-yel."

"Do you wish me to stop," he asked again, moving his mouth to her belly, and pressing her back down onto the soft blankets.

"No." She was defiantly firm on that.

He pushed her thighs apart, bending his head so his tongue could touch her intimately. She groaned deep in her chest. "Oh, Dan-yel. Oh, it is sweet."

With a smile, he lifted his head. "So, don't stop, right?"

"Do not stop!" she hissed. "I do not wish you to stop."

Daniel returned to what he'd been doing and Sha're moaned his name over and over. Nothing makes a man feel like the king of the world more than hearing his lover screaming his name as she comes.

* * *

"You got that right." Jack couldn't agree more with the sentiment.

Daniel's face was bright red, and Jack could feel his pride as well as embarrassment. "I didn't think it would be like this."

"What?" Jack looked at him.

"You just watched me make love to my wife for the first time." Daniel thought for a second. "Actually, it was more like you watching my memory of it."

"Whichever. It was sweet. Nice to know you're such a generous lover."

"Why would you possibly care?" Daniel asked.

Jack shrugged, not quite sure why, but it did matter to him. "It would have hurt my image of you to have seen you throw her down and jump on top of her."

"Oh."

Jack could feel Daniel's puzzlement about it, but couldn't explain further. Images of other lovers moved by them. Daniel and Sarah, Daniel and other women, some of whom Jack recognized, some not. His own lovers, some of whom he remembered well, some almost not at all.

He hadn't realized Daniel had so much experience.

"What did you think? I was a virgin until I married Sha're?" Daniel's tone was very amused and his eyes sparkled.

"No, but I'm... surprised." Jack smiled sheepishly. What could he say? He _could_ have believed that Daniel hadn't known anything when he met Sha're.

"Geeks need love, too."

Jack laughed and waved a hand towards the images they were seeing. "I guess so, but this is an awful lot of it."

Folding his arms over his chest, Daniel glared at him in mock anger. "You're hardly inexperienced, yourself."

"My relationships tend to be long-term."

"Except when you were young."

"Very true. It didn't matter as much then," Jack said with a shrug.

* * *

  
 __

"Jack," Sara called from upstairs. "Can you come here for a minute?"

Lying comfortably on the couch, Jack groaned. What did she want? "I'm watching the play-offs, can't it wait a couple of minutes?"

"Now, Jack."

He knew that tone and knew he'd better obey it. Sara didn't make that many demands on him when he was home, but there were times...

"What honey?" He entered their bedroom, hoping that whatever it was, he could fix it quickly and be back before the start of the fourth quarter.

"What are these?" She dangled a pair of soft leather, fur-lined cuffs from one finger.

Oh, fuck. He'd forgotten about those. "Where did you find them?"

"I was cleaning out the closet. Trying to make more space for my stuff."

He saw the box on the floor. Well, it _was_ her house now, too. "Uh... they are.. Well, what exactly do you think they are?"

Her eyes met his. "I think they are something my husband of three months should have told me about four months ago."

"Uh... It's really not what you think." Jack tried to look innocent, knowing failure was imminent. "I mean... they aren't used..." Not that much, anyway.

"So, you never used them?"

"Well, maybe once or twice." Or three times.

She put her hands on her hips and just looked at him. "How?"

"For crying' out loud, how do you think?"

She smiled, now. And Jack knew to be wary of that particular smile. "Did you put them on someone else or did you wear them yourself?"

"Uh..." The best defense is a good offense. "Why?"

"Just curious." But her look had changed to pure sultriness.

Cool. He took a step closer, his heart starting to pound. "How curious?"

Her hand reached out, taking hold of his belt-loop and pulling him to her. "That would depend on whether you were wearing them or not, wouldn't it?"

"Which would you prefer?" He hadn't actually worn them, but if Sara wanted to put them on him, he wasn't going to deny her. This was a whole other side of her he hadn't known about, but damn, he wanted to.

"Hold out your hands."

Without hesitation, he did as she asked, wondering if he should mention taking their clothes off first. Nah, it would be more fun this way.

  


* * *

"You do that kind of thing often?" Daniel smirked at him.

Jack could tell just how amused he was by the idea. "Hey, we were married."

"Looks like there were other times when you weren't," Daniel pointed out, leering playfully at him. "So... you like being tied up."

Knowing he was blushing and couldn't do a damned thing about it, Jack tried to shrug nonchalantly. "Or tying up. I like the tease of it. I wouldn't want to hurt or be hurt or even really, you know, do it seriously."

"Oh, I know. It's just..."

"Unexpected?"

"Kind of. It's too much information, you know."

"Yeah. I suppose there will be way more of it before we're done."

Daniel nodded.

* * *

  
 __

"Hey, leave him alone," Jack called out, dropping his bike at the edge of the lot. Kevin O'Brien had Robbie Callahan by the arm, and was pulling him across the field, probably going to do him some serious harm. Jack couldn't stand to see someone as big as Kevin pick on someone as small as Robbie.

"O'Neill, go away. And I'll let you live."

"Not a chance, hot-shot." Jack walked over to where Robbie struggled in Kevin's grip. Putting his hands on his hips, with nine-tenths bravado and one-tenth determination, Jack shook his head. "I said to let him go. Pick on someone your own damned size."

"Like you, maybe?" Kevin smirked down at him. "Maybe I'll beat you both up."

"Leave me alone..." Robbie whimpered, and tried to pull out of his grip. The smallest kid in 8th grade and at least a year, if not two, younger than everyone else, Robbie was picked on by everyone.

Jack wasn't even that fond of him; Robbie was too smart by half. But he could not stand Kevin. And his own sense of justice would not let him walk away from this. "I said to let him go."

Kevin shoved Robbie away, and started towards Jack, swinging wildly. At least he couldn't fight that well, Jack thought, as he ducked and punched. He managed to blacken both of Kevin's eyes before Kevin got a hold on him and pummeled him good. Robbie ran away, but brought someone back to pick up the pieces of Jack. Kevin was suspended from school.

  


* * *

"So, you always were a protective SOB weren't you?" Daniel sounded way too amused for Jack's taste.

"Looks like, doesn't it." Jack said, embarrassed by the scene and the fact there were more than one of them in his life.

Daniel knocked him playfully in the shoulder and smiled. "Not exactly a secret, here."

"No, I'm sure it's not." Something else occurred to Jack and he looked at Daniel. "Anyone ever do that to you?"

"Beat me up cause I was smaller?"

"Yeah."

"No. I wasn't that small. And I talked my way out of trouble more often than not." Daniel grinned. "Getting protective on me?"

"No. Of course not. Besides, it doesn't do much for my bad-ass image to worry about my team." He could hear/feel/see Daniel knowing it was a lie. It was easier to lie than to admit the truth, even if he knew that Daniel knew the truth.

"What bad-ass image? All I see is a 6 foot 2 inch cream puff." Daniel laughed.

"Would that it were so."

 

* * *

  
 __

"Daniel, I'm very sorry, but I won't be able to take you with me. You'll have to stay here." Nick Ballard knelt down next to him, at eye level.

Eight year-old Daniel looked up at his grandfather with enormous blue eyes and nodded. He'd expected nothing different. Just the few months in foster care had taught him not to expect anything.

"The truth is, I can barely take care of myself, let alone a little boy." His grandfather would not even look at him, and he certainly didn't look regretful.

But Daniel understood. Completely. No one wanted him. His parents had left him and his mother's father could not be bothered with him. He wrapped his arms around his belly. Cold, he was so cold.

Looking up, he tried to smile. "Grandpa, that's...okay. I will be fine," Daniel lied, turning away from his grandfather.

"Oh, Daniel?" Nick called out as he was picking up his coat to leave.

Daniel turned back. "Yes?"

"Call me Nick from now on."

Daniel nodded and turned back towards the door.

  


* * *

"What a bastard!" Jack growled, wishing he could take a swing at the man in the memory. How could anyone do that to a child?

"Yeah, he really was a bastard." Daniel sighed, and wrapped his arm around his belly in a gesture Jack knew too well.

"And you forgave him when he was here." After this scene, Jack could not imagine how Daniel could have forgiven the man.

But Daniel shook his head. "Well, what else could I do, you know? The past is gone and he really is all I have left of my family."

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"Did it just get a little darker?" Jack looked around. It seemed like the light had faded.

"Since this isn't really real -- it's just our way of coping with what we're seeing and feeling -- I don't think it could."

"What do you mean coping?" Jack thought he was doing just fine, much better than he'd thought, that was for sure.

"Jack, we're walking on the yellow brick road, watching each other's memories like movies. Don't you think that's a bit odd?"

Well, now that Daniel mentioned it. "Yeah, so?"

"Our minds are bonding. And since we're not really able to cope with that, we're putting it into a context we _can_ cope with. Hence the walk." Daniel gestured at the walkway in front of them and the scenery.

Which come to think of it, wasn't really much of anything. The memories took up all the space around them. It all did make sense, in that scary, he-really-didn't-want-to-understand kind of way. "Oh."

"It will be okay." Daniel put his hand on Jack's shoulder.

* * *

  
 __

"Mr. and Mrs. O'Neill?" The doctor came through the emergency room door, his face telling them what they didn't want to know before he'd finished calling their names.

"No!" Sara's voice was full of unshed tears, she shook her head in denial. "Please. No."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. O'Neill, we did everything we could..."

Jack had known when he'd seen his son that there was no way a grown man could have survived the wound he'd inflicted on himself, let alone a ten year-old boy. He gasped out loud. This could not be happening. "No."

Sara turned to him, reaching out, and he turned away, hiding his tears from her. She wanted to be held, and to cry together with him, but he could not allow it. He forced himself to move past her.

"Jack, please don't walk away from me now." Her tone was begging him, but he couldn't, couldn't face her. He didn't deserve any comfort.

He walked out of the hospital, into the parking lot. An offensive red car blocked his way, and his temper broke. He smashed his fist into the metal of the driver's door, denting the vehicle badly. God, it hurt. Good. Good. He wanted the pain, deserved the pain.

Slumping down against the door, he wept pitifully. It was his fault - his fault his son was dead and there was nothing and no one who could absolve him. He didn't deserve to live.

  


* * *

Daniel's arm slid around his shoulder and Jack buried his face on his shoulder, trying to force back the tears. It still hurt so damned badly, even after all this time. He gulped a breath and then another, but control would not come.

"It's okay. I've got you." Daniel's arms tightened and Jack had to let a few tears escape before he could regain his control.

"I was such a bastard." Jack hated himself for the way he'd treated Sara. At that point, there was nothing he could have done for Charlie, but if he'd been more of a man, he could have helped her.

"You were in pain, yourself."

"As if that's an excuse to hurt someone you're supposed to love and protect."

"It's better than some."

* * *

  
 __

"Sha're!" Daniel's tone was sharp with his anger. "What is the meaning of this?" Daniel held up his wet notebook. He only had a few of them and this one was now useless.

Looking up from the circle of friends she was sitting with, Sha're's expression was horrified. No, more than that, terrified. "Husband. I am sorry."

"What happened? I've told you before to be careful around my notebooks. This one is ruined." Daniel knew he was making a big deal over nothing, but he was so annoyed.

"Forgive me, my husband," she whispered quietly, her head falling forward. Standing, she immediately moved to his side. "I will come now."

The entire atmosphere of the room changed, as if the temperature had suddenly dropped. All of Sha're's gathered friends looked toward her, sympathy in their eyes. And Daniel had no idea why. "What?"

"I will come, now," she repeated, but he had no idea what she meant.

"All right. Let's go."

They walked silently back to their home, which they shared with her father and brother. As they entered the dwelling, Kasuf gave the ruined notebook and then Sha're's down-cast eyes a sharp look. "Good son, you will discipline her?"

"What? Discipline? Oh, no." He shook his head, his anger had already receded. "No, of course not."

Sha're looked more upset. "You must. You called me out in front of my friends. If my back does not bear your mark tomorrow, you will be dishonored."

"Don't be ridiculous. I would never hit you."

Kasuf shook his head. "If you called her out, then you must follow through with it."

"No!" Daniel was horrified by the very thought. "No."

"Dan-yel, you will bring dishonor on us both if you do not."

"I can't do that." He'd seen it done a few times. A recalcitrant wife beaten bloody in the square. Honor be damned. He would not do it. "I'd never be able to live with myself if I were to humiliate you in public."

"It need not be in public," Kasuf said, producing an evil looking strap from a trunk in the corner, and offering it to Daniel.

He shook his head. "No."

"You must." Sha're's tone was as close to pleading as he'd ever heard it.

"You want me to beat you?" He could not believe it. How could she ask this of him? It was barbaric. And he would not do it.

"No. But if you do not..." She turned away.

Her father met his eyes, serious. "She can be claimed by another man if her own husband is judged to be too weak to handle her." Kasuf held out the strap again. "If you do not, then I will."

Sha're shook her head, her eyes pleading.

Daniel took it. Heavy, stiff leather, it would hurt her. Nauseated, he closed his eyes for a moment to try and wake up from this nightmare. "Where? Not publicly."

Kasuf nodded. "It only matters that you do it. You can use my room."

"Fine. Sha're," he ordered, moving toward the curtain where Kasuf slept.

She followed silently, stripping off her top. "Do it quickly," she whispered as she knelt facing away from him.

He laid it across her back six times, hard enough to leave stripes. But he could not do more than that. She never made a sound. Maybe that was part of the culture too: he dished it out and she took it. But he remembered the screams of the women in the square. Throwing the strap at her feet, he stalked out of the room.

Somehow he managed to get himself across the dune to the cartouche room. No one would bother him there. Sliding down against the far wall, he pulled his knees to his chest and cried, hating himself, Sha're and the whole blasted primitive culture that allowed barbaric treatment of women, or anyone.

An hour later, Sha're found him there. "Husband? Are you not well?"

He looked up, knowing his eyes were red. "I'm fine. Are you okay? Well, of course, you're not okay. How badly did I hurt you?"

"Not so bad as that. Here." She pulled something out of her robe and handed him a jar. "A good husband will use this to take the sting out of his punishment."

He didn't feel much like a good husband, but he opened the salve as she took off her top again. At least he hadn't broken the skin, it was bruised and probably hurt like hell, but there wasn't any permanent damage. "How could you want me to do this?"

"I didn't. But... " She shrugged. "It was not so bad. And tomorrow when my friends see, they will all be jealous."

"Because I beat you?" He shuddered.

"No, of course not." She laughed, and leaned forward to kiss him. "That you are indulgent and even in your anger you would not hurt me. They will know how much you love me."

"Oh." He shook his head, not really believing he was having this conversation.

"Silly husband." She laughed again and leaned forward to kiss him.

  


* * *

Jack looked at Daniel, seeing the tears in his eyes and feeling his anguish. "You know, I wish there was something I could say to make that better, but I don't think there is."

"Not really." Daniel sighed. "Would you have done it?"

Jack thought about it for a minute. "I don't know. I honestly don't. But I do know that you were living in their culture, playing by their rules." He put his arm around Daniel. "And still eating yourself up with guilt, too. Right?"

"I beat my wife. How can you put a better spin on that?"

"You can't. So, live with it."

"I'm trying."

* * *

  
 __

Jack crouched just below the pitch of the roof, his rifle at ready. His subject came into view and he took aim and fired. The man below dropped like a stone, and Jack scrambled backward, making it off the roof and into the woods before the commotion had died down. He was back at base before any evidence could be found.

  


* * *

"You assassinated someone?" Daniel's voice was filled with horror.

"More than once." Jack knew there was no lying here and the funny thing was, he didn't want to.

"Oh, God."

"Would it matter to you that it was a ruthless bastard who ran a drug cartel in South America?"

"Not much."

"Are you really, truly that surprised?"

"Knowing you were Special Ops and remembering your kills are two entirely different things."

"So they are." Jack sighed. He'd known this moment would come, that Daniel would never be able to accept it.

"Does it get worse?"

"Yes."

"How much worse?"

Jack didn't want to remember, didn't want Daniel to see, but it was there, in his mind and then in front of them, like a damned movie. Every op he'd run, every mistake he'd made, every secret he knew, every person he'd killed. All of it.

Reaching out, Daniel put his arms around him, and pulled him close. "It's okay." The change in Daniel stunned him.

Jack tried to pull away, out of Daniel's arms, but Daniel would not release him. "How can you say that? You're horrified."

"Well, yes. Okay, yes, I am pretty much shocked to my... I'd say soul, but that would be a bad choice of words, I think. But all of this doesn't change who you are. You believed in what you did, every time you did it. I can't argue with that. Would you do it now?"

"I don't know."

"I do."

Jack could feel Daniel's acceptance, feel him forgiving his sins. He turned into the embrace, tightening his arms, and pressing his face to Daniel's shoulder. "Thank you."

* * *

A blink and they were back in bed, lying side by side, arms and legs wrapped around one another. Jack breathed out sharply, feeling the tears on his face and seeing them on Daniel's cheeks. Without thinking about it too hard, he leaned forward and kissed Daniel, needing the comfort and knowing he would find it with Daniel. As the kiss deepened, he could feel the response in Daniel as well as himself. It was weird, but kind of cool, too.

Daniel rolled on top of him, hips canting downward, his tongue sliding into Jack's mouth, his hands moving down Jack's back to cup his buttocks. Daniel's passion ignited his own, and he bucked up against hardness, pressing forward, not completely clear on what he should be doing -- but oh, damn, it felt good. Too good, too good to last very long.

Moving with Daniel, Jack arched and cried out, semen spilling between them as Daniel also came.

Jack held on for a long time, not sure what he should do or feel. He'd just had sex... made love? With his best friend.

//I think this is our wedding night.// Daniel's mind voice sounded both amused and appalled.

//Ya think?// But it occurred to Jack that he could be right. For better or worse, they were now... connected. He could not think of it as bonded, it sounded too... too..

//Too what?// Daniel asked, sounded a bit too amused for Jack's liking.

//I don't know. Too something. Probably sappy.//

//This from the king of sap.//

//Am not.//

//Are too.//

"Is there a way to shut you up?" Jack asked, rolling them so that they were on their sides again.

"You could kiss me again."

That was a surprise. "Why?"

Daniel smiled. "I liked it. I thought we might try it again, a little slower this time."

"Uh..."

"What? I know you enjoyed that. You went off like a rocket."

"It's not that. It's just... weird. You know. I mean, here we are and this is not a place I thought I'd ever be."

"So... what are you saying?"

"I don't know." Lying naked next to Daniel was too strange to be contemplated. He had to think this through before he could have even the remotest clue how he felt about it. Daniel's disappointment and hurt were so easy to read, he didn't need the telepathy. Jack really didn't want to be the cause. Okay, the first time had been frantic, more of a search for comfort than anything else, but he'd done it, so maybe he'd get through this time, too.

"Don't do me any favors." Daniel started to pull away from him, but Jack held on until Daniel settled back down.

Putting his hand on Daniel's face, Jack met his eyes. "Give me a fucking break, here. You're not even going to give me time to work this out. I need some thinking space here. I'm willing to try."

//Well, that's mighty big of you.//

//Sarcasm does not become you,// Jack snapped and then sighed. He was too wiped out emotionally to fight this out now. "Come on. Let's give it another shot."

"I don't want to push you." But he clearly wanted to do it again, wanted the comfort that Jack could give him.

And Jack wasn't really opposed to the idea, it was just... He couldn't come up with a suitable description for what it was, other than odd beyond belief. "Don't take this wrong, but I know I'm gonna have to get used to it sooner or later."

"How can I take it any other way than wrong?" Daniel's irritation and hurt flowed easily between them.

"How can you just sit...lie there and accept it?" As if this sort of thing happens every day.

"Oh, uh... no choice. Besides, the first time was, well fun wasn't quite the right word, but it was nice, you know." Daniel shrugged and smiled a little.

 

Jack could feel the nervousness humming through him and wanted to do something to ameliorate it. "C'mere."

Daniel sighed this time and then leaned forward to press his lips softly to Jack's.

Nice. Very sweet. Jack kissed back, enjoying the sensations, and Daniel's reactions. Pulling back, Jack looked down into Daniel's face, smoothing back his short hair. Jack leaned down and kissed him again, fingers tracing over the scratchy planes of Daniel's cheeks. //Weird.//

"What?" Daniel looked up, confused.

"Stubble." Jack put his hand on the side of Daniel's face, and rubbed back and forth slowly. Daniel did a mental shrug and Jack laughed. "I guess I'll be getting used to that, too."

Leaning up, Daniel pressed his mouth to Jack's, slowly, carefully, tongue sliding forward to lick at Jack's lips and when granted entrance, to explore the recesses of his mouth. Jack groaned, letting the kiss and Daniel take him where it would.

As their mouths met and held again, their minds merged more fully, an explosion of excitement rolling over Jack, his own arousal swelling as well as Daniel's. With the sensations from Daniel came the knowledge of how to please him, where he liked to be touched, and how. Nothing surprising there, Jack could do this.

His hands moved over Daniel's skin, stroking, brushing, caressing and Daniel moaned into his mouth. Jack stepped up his touches, growing bold, moving from his back, to his butt, and then to his inner thigh. Without giving what he was doing much thought, he moved on, not even pausing as he slipped his hand over the hardness he found at Daniel's groin, stroking firmly.

Groaning loudly, Daniel's hips moved up and down in time with Jack's hand, following the rhythm. "Oh, God. Oh, God." Daniel's cried out sharply, his back arching off the bed as he came over Jack's fingers.

Jack gathered him close, holding him as Daniel's breath began to even out.

"Mmm," Daniel said, incoherently, nuzzling against Jack's neck and purring. "Nice."

"Glad to help out." Jack pressed his own hard-on into Daniel's hip. "Want to do the same?"

"Guess I'd better." Daniel rolled on top of Jack and kissed him deeply, his tongue plunging into Jack's mouth, exploring all the surfaces he could reach.

Jack groaned as Daniel's hand slipped down to hold him, beginning to pump, slowly at first, letting the sensations build. After a short time, Jack was ablaze with want, need, and Daniel's hand tended him, not letting him get too out of control, or back down too far, keeping him right on the precipice until he couldn't stand it any more.

Jack cried out as sensations of his pleasure as well as Daniel's satisfaction swept over him, and he could not process it all. Willingly, he went down in spectacular flames.

Back on earth, he was pulled into Daniel's arms and held, kissed and caressed, drifting to sleep wrapped around Daniel.

* * *

Part 3

 

Daniel woke slowly, feeling wonderfully sated, but craving caffeine. He knew immediately that Jack was dressed and had been watching him sleep, trying not to invade his dreams. He also could feel Jack's unease with his knowledge.

With a good deal of reluctance, Daniel forced his eyes open and looked over at Jack. A wave of unexpected tenderness washed over him as Jack smiled.

"Hey," Jack said, leaning forward in the chair by the bed.

"'morning. Coffee?"

Jack laughed. "I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I was lucky to find what passed for a bathroom."

Daniel saw the picture in Jack's mind and grimaced. "Has anyone --"

"Not yet." Jack took a breath and Daniel felt the return of his discomfort. "I wanted to talk to you, before... you know, before whatever is going to happen now, happens."

//Fuck.// "About what?" Daniel could not help the wariness filling him. He just knew this was not going to be a good, happy thing.

Jack nodded. "About what happened yesterday."

"Which part of yesterday?" Clarification would be good, especially where Jack was concerned. There were some pretty amazing parts of yesterday, and some pretty awful parts, too.

"All of it."

Daniel sat up. He couldn't do this without caffeine. And there were a few other things he needed to take care of as well. "I need to..."

Jack nodded and pointed to the second door in the room. "Through there."

For a second, Daniel hesitated. He was naked under the sheet, not to mention having bodily fluids streaked across his belly. He shook his head, knowing he was being ridiculous. His modesty was out of place at this point in the proceedings; he had nothing, absolutely nothing left that Jack hadn't seen. "Uh... I'll be back in a second."

He got out of bed, and bent to pick up his clothes, wrinkled and dirty though they were. Some part of him still couldn't deal with it, and he blushed, but tried to ignore it. Jack didn't say or think anything, but a glance at him showed his indulgent, amused smile.

The bathroom was just different enough to be a challenge without being impossible. Basically, this was a human culture and their bodies worked the same way his and Jack's did. Technology could make it easier, but it _had_ to do some general things.

Clean and dressed, Daniel exited the room to find Jack had obtained something to drink, fruit juice of some kind, if he could judge by the smell. "Where'd you get that?"

"Opened the door and someone was standing there with it on a tray. Talk about service. We should leave a nice tip." Jack took a swig. "Pretty good, too. Sort of orange with a twist."

"Any chance of coffee?" Daniel asked, taking a small sip of the contents of the glass Jack had handed him. Not too bad, but coffee would have been better.

"Not likely. I did ask."

An amusing image of Jack trying to explain coffee to the person who had brought them the juice came into Daniel's mind and he smiled in appreciation. "Thanks. What about Savah?"

"The guy outside said that she would be here shortly.

//Let's get the rest of this over with.// "So what now?"

"I think we need to learn to... deal with this."

"How?" He could feel that Jack didn't mean exactly what he'd said. "Control it, block it or break it?"

"Break it would still be my first choice."

//Not mine.// Daniel thought, surprising himself with the vehemence of the emotion. He'd gotten used to the feeling of not being alone and didn't want to lose it, despite the discomfort it caused him.

Jack sighed. "Breaking it might not be possible anyway."

"But you want to, right?" Why didn't Jack feel the same way about this that he did?

"Sorry, Daniel. This is just too close for me. I..." Jack's discomfort was resonating between them as strongly as Daniel's desire to keep the bond.

Compromise? Daniel wondered if that were even possible. "Maybe we can find a way to pull it back, to maybe... I don't know, control it on some level, somehow."

"I hope so. I don't want to hurt you, but I didn't ask for this and I don't want it." Jack looked at him. "It's not you. It's that this is just too... invasive."

Before Daniel could answer, there was a knock on the door.

"Come," Jack called, putting both glasses back on the tray.

Savah came in, and then smiled at them. "The bond is strong."

//No shit.//

//Jack. She can hear you.//

Jack looked at her and she nodded. //Sorry.// "Is there a way to break the bond?"

She drew in a sharp breath and frowned at Jack. "I can't believe that you would want to."

"I want to be in my own head." Jack gave Daniel an apologetic look. "No offense, but without company."

Savah closed her eyes, and Daniel's mind went blank for a second - then Jack was gone. He was alone with only his own thoughts echoing loudly in the raw empty places where Jack had been. Quiet, bleak, grim, pitifully lonely. He wanted Jack back.

He met Jack's gaze and saw the shock, the despair, the emptiness forming in Jack's eyes.

"Put it back," Jack whispered hoarsely, closing his eyes, fingers curling into fists. "Please, put it back."

And it was there again. They both breathed out, relief surging. Daniel had known it would be like that.

//Know-it-all.// But it was thought fondly.

//Jack...//

 

"Okay. No breaking it. Control then." Jack looked at Savah, his eyebrow raised in question.

"Yes. Shielding will be possible, helpful to both of you and those around you. It will take some time to master. Once you have done so, you will find many advantages to the bond that you previously hadn't dreamed of."

//Oh, goody. I can't wait.// Jack had already perfected that sarcastic tone in his mind, the same one he used when he talked.

Daniel shook his head. "How much time is it going to take to learn what we need to know?"

"It is fairly simple, but you are completely untrained. Perhaps a few weeks. Perhaps more." Savah shrugged. "However long it takes, it takes."

"Okay. Looks like we're here for the duration. We need to report into the SGC." Jack sighed. "Hammond and everyone else are probably going nuts already wondering where we are."

As much as he hated to admit it, Daniel hadn't thought about them once. And he should have. "Yeah. We'll need supplies." He looked at Savah and smiled. "I don't think your people are prepared to clothe us."

"No. You may have your supplies sent to the Tollan and they will see them delivered to you here."

That was better than nothing, but he'd really like to know where "here" was.

"You know that I'm not going to tell you that. I thought Chancellor Travell explained that to you."

"Swell," Jack muttered, folding his arms over his chest and giving her a sour look.

But Savah showed no signs of being intimidated; she shook her head. "Your race is not ready to meet mine."

"Then you're helping us because?" Daniel asked, wondering what they might have gotten themselves into this time.

"Partly because Chancellor Travell asked personally, and partly due to your great need." She smiled again, sweetly.

"Thanks. I think." Jack's tone was less sharp than it had been.

Savah nodded. "I will arrange for you to contact your people. But you must understand that you can say nothing to them about this place."

"It's not like we've seen or found anything to tell anyway," Jack pointed out tartly.

"That will make it easier, won't it? I shall work with you one at a time for now. Colonel O'Neill will be first. Dr. Jackson, you may go now and contact your people. Please return here when you are done."

"Where else would I go? And how do I contact them?"

"Come, Baran will show you." She opened the door and the man from yesterday appeared.

"Take Dr. Jackson to the gate and show him how to contact his people."

Baran nodded and held out his hand for Daniel to precede him. "Come with me."

"Uh... " Daniel hesitated before going out. "What happened to Chancellor Travell?"

"She returned to Tollana yesterday, after you finished the joining." Savah nodded toward the door.

* * *

 

"This is Dr. Daniel Jackson, do you read me?"

"We are receiving you, Dr. Jackson." General Hammond's image formed on the monitor and he could see several other people around, but none of them were SG-1. "Are you and Colonel O'Neill all right?"

"Yes, sir. We're fine. More or less." Except for the lack of caffeine and the fact that he and Jack wanted different things. "No problem."

"I can see you were able to separate. Were you able to break the telepathic link?"

"No. Actually, the telepathy has been..." He hesitated for a second to think about how to put it. "It's been deepened to the point..." God, there were no references for General Hammond to begin to understand this. "To the point we're now living in each other's head."

To give him credit, General Hammond didn't say anything, but he looked like he was going to choke. "How are you and Colonel O'Neill dealing with that?"

Daniel laughed. "About as well as can be expected."

"When will you be returning?" General Hammond asked, and then stepped to the side to allow Sam to look into the monitor.

"Hi, Daniel. How are you doing?" Sam smiled and Daniel saw Teal'c behind her.

"Fine. The healer is going to train us in how to deal with it. And it's going to take a couple of weeks."

"Where are you?" Sam asked.

Daniel shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. However, the Tollan know and trust these people. I have a list of supplies and stuff that you need to send us via the Tollan."

"What do you need?" the General asked.

Daniel told him, listing basic supplies he thought Jack and he would need for an extended stay. He added his portable coffee maker, beans, both his and Jack's laptops, and some translations that he'd been working on, as well as one or two books. He would have asked for a portable TV and hockey tapes if he'd thought he could have gotten away with it.

"Can you tell us anything else about these people?" General Hammond asked when Daniel had finished.

"They won't tell us anything about this place or their people. Except of course, that our race isn't ready to meet theirs."

"I see." General Hammond did not look pleased and neither did Sam or Teal'c. But there wasn't much any of them could do about it and they knew it.

"General, I don't think they mean us any harm. I mean, they are going to help us learn to control this... bond."

"And you're sure there is no way to break the connection?" General Hammond asked, his face looking grim, like he'd realized the repercussions of them remaining linked.

"None, sir." Daniel shuddered. Been there, done that, and don't want to do it again.

"All right. Try to report in as frequently as you're able."

"I'm hoping they will let one of us call in daily. But I can't promise anything." He'd have to talk to Savah about it when he got back to the clinic, but ultimately it was up to her.

"Understood. Good luck."

"Thank you, sir. Daniel out."

Daniel walked away from the gate, back down the tree-lined path that lead to the clinic. As strange as it seemed, he had nowhere to be and nothing to do. They had already been told not to try to talk to anyone and he didn't want to push their luck. They needed Savah.

He let his mind drift over the morning. It rankled that his feelings for Jack were changing, becoming... more intimate, more encompassing, and that Jack's feelings for him hadn't changed, even with their new-found knowledge. Not that he should be so surprised; in his heart he knew he just wasn't that exciting. He was exactly what he appeared to be. Smart, yes; brilliant even, but Sha're notwithstanding, he didn't seem to inspire strong feelings in anyone.

But Jack. Damn. Jack inside was so much more glorious than that smart-ass exterior would ever let on. Jack was a hero -- a man who did what he had to do, just because he believed it was right, expecting nothing in return.

Nothing he'd seen in Jack's mind or his memories had been a surprise - well, not that much of one. The Special Ops stuff was bad, but you couldn't argue with Jack's logic at the time, and Daniel didn't feel he had the right to second guess it now. Jack felt guilty enough. But for the few -- all right, more than a few -- questionable activities, there were so many more where Jack saved the day, when he rescued the innocent or saved the world.

Even the fantasies about Sam and the depth of Jack's feelings for her weren't shocking. Daniel had always known that the bond between them was strong. If the truth were told -- and last night it was -- Daniel knew he'd had a few stray fantasies about Sam floating around himself. She was a hell of a woman.

The whole experience had made him see, understand in no uncertain terms, the kind of man Jack truly was. How could he know Jack, truly know him, and not fall...

No. He wasn't going there. Not yet. And not alone. Of course, the likelihood of Jack getting there at all seemed....

Daniel felt a nudge of surprise and it wasn't coming from him. Fuck. What had he been thinking? Jack knew. And he should have realized that, should have known this was not a topic he could even be thinking about.

Oh God, he was so pathetic. Daniel wiped it all from his mind, and started conjugating Russian verbs.

At the door to their room, Daniel hesitated, he knew Jack knew he was there. Damn, why was this so hard? Well, it might be that he'd just about told Jack he was... No. Still not going there.

//Daniel, just come in already.// Jack's mind voice sounded both indulgent and impatient, suspiciously like his regular voice.

He opened the door and saw Jack sitting in one of the two comfortable chairs in the room. Patting the seat of the other one, Jack nodded his head towards Daniel. "We need to talk about this."

Daniel preferred to stand. "No, actually, I don't think that's necessary. Not at all." He wasn't going there, not with Jack, not ever. Not if he had anything to say about it.

"Daniel." There was a command behind Jack's tone.

Apparently, he had no say about it. "Jack, please. I can't bear your pity."

"Is that what I'm feeling?" Jack met his eyes.

No, surprisingly, it wasn't. Jack felt... confusion? "Why?"

"Because I don't understand any of this. Or how to deal with it." Jack shrugged helplessly and shook his head.

"You just want it to go away."

"Not after the demonstration this morning. No, I can pretty much tell you that I _do not_ want it to go away." Jack shuddered theatrically. "But we're going to have to deal with it. All of it. And that means you and your feelings, too."

As if he had any choice. "Uh... I'm not sure how we can. We want different things, now."

"Not so different." But Jack was thinking about last night, specifically about having had sex with a man.

And Daniel could feel how freaked he was by it. "You don't want to have sex with me again?"

"Uh... damn. That's not exactly right. Well, the not having sex part is right, but only until I can get a grip on it. This is a little too much for me, right now."

Rejection flowed over him, his heart aching and his eyes stinging. But he tried to push it down, refusing to acknowledge it, even as he knew Jack knew, felt it, too. "So what are you saying? Because even with your thoughts and emotions coming into play here, I'm confused."

"And you're surprised by this?" Jack actually laughed. "Oh, Danny, I don't want to hurt you. I do care about you. A lot. But I need to get my head screwed on straight before I have anything to give to anyone else."

He should understand that. Jack was who he was, but he still felt ripped to shreds. "Sure, I understand."

"Then why are you so hurt?" Jack had that impatient sound in his voice again. //No secrets, remember?//

As if he were likely to forget that. He folded his arms over his chest and glared at Jack. "I can't help my feelings."

Jack shook his head. "I just can't believe they could change so fast, especially after last night."

He felt Jack's confusion again, his conviction that last night should have left Daniel reeling with disgust, not falling in love. "Are you serious? Last night is _why_ they changed."

"Now that I find even harder to believe."

Daniel thought about how he saw Jack, built an image in his mind. Jack's courage, his compassion, his wit, adding in his new awareness of Jack's good looks. He sent the image to Jack.

He felt Jack's chest tighten, and heard him take a breath before he spoke. "That... that is the most flattering thing anyone has ever said about me." He looked at Daniel, his eyes soft. "Thank you."

"It's true."

Standing, Jack came to him and pulled him into his arms. "I'm sorry. I wish I could move as fast as you seem to be able to."

"But you can't." Daniel held on for a moment, savoring the feel of Jack in his arms, but after a moment, he stepped back. "Separate beds?"

 

"I haven't asked. Would it be easier for you?"

"Probably, but..." He'd rather have Jack there, than not, especially if Jack didn't mind.

"No. I don't."

"This is a little different than communal sleeping arrangements."

"Rules still apply?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then."

* * *

 

"Okay, let's take a break," Savah said with a sigh.

They had spent many hours working on the shielding Jack needed, and every time he thought he was just about to get it, it seemed to slip through his fingers...mind. "Yeah, I'm ready for a break. My head hurts."

Baran appeared with some juice and snacks, putting it on the table between them, then disappearing again without a word.

"You don't have any beer, do you?" Jack asked. That was one of the things he missed, that and TV. It had only been a little more than a week, but when he wasn't practicing the techniques, he really had nothing to do. The laptop helped, but he only had a few games on it.

"I'm sorry." Savah smiled at him. "We do not consume alcohol."

Jack sighed. "Of course not."

 

"There is something I wish to ask you, but I don't want to offend you." Savah sounded both hesitant and curious.

Which made Jack just as curious. "You won't. Or if you do, well, I'm not going to run off in huff."

"I hesitate to say anything because I know your culture is young." Savah paused, and then met Jack's eyes. "But you seem so uncomfortable with the idea that your mate is male."

//Mate!?// "Not the word I would have chosen for Daniel."

"You don't honestly expect to establish a relationship with another?" She looked at him, tone incredulous and eyes curious.

Actually, he hadn't considered the idea at all. Jack realized with a start that she had to be right. All the shielding in the world would not allow him to get close to anyone else. Certainly not close enough to form any kind of intimate relationship. And his days of quick fucks were long over.

Jack took a breath and let it out slowly, shaking his head. "I guess not."

"You must understand something else: just because your culture, your world, does not look favorably upon such unions, do not assume that most worlds, most cultures, at least those advanced beyond their infancy, have that same problem."

Jack thought about it. He'd never had a problem with... homosexuality, in theory anyway. But he'd also never thought about it in terms of himself, either. His first inclination was to deny it was even possible. Except that he'd already had sex with Daniel - more than just sex, great sex. Twice. And at some point, probably in the not too distant future, he was going to do it again.

"Why do you deny what's in your heart?" Savah looked so exasperated with him.

He wasn't sure what he could say in his own defense. "It isn't that. It's...well, as you said, my world is young, and I am too. I'm...disturbed by this. I can't seem to help it."

She was silent for a moment. "Would it surprise you to know that Chu'lak's Jaffa society accepts such relationships? Older-younger relationships, between student and teacher, and between warrior equals."

//Oh yeah. That is definitely a surprise.// Which led him to ask. "Teal'c?"

"I could not say. I only know that it is in no way forbidden in his culture, nor with the Tollan or the Nox."

Somehow Jack found that less surprising. "Thor?"

Savah shook her head. "The Asgard are not a human culture. They..." She paused. "They do not reproduce in the same way, therefore sexuality is not an issue with them. I am sure they would not be bothered by your bond with Dr. Jackson."

"And I take it your culture doesn't have a problem with it either?"

"We do not. Most of us would welcome a bond such as yours with joy in our hearts. But I still feel your unease."

"Forty-five years of being one way, I'm not suddenly going over to the dark side without a word. Just isn't going to happen."

"You cared deeply for Dr. Jackson, even before you were bonded."

"As a friend."

"You distinguish the kinds of love you feel for people? I find that interesting." She said it like she found it horrifying.

"Yeah." Jack said, defensively. This was getting old. And he could not get the feeling out of his mind that she was laughing at him, like a parent laughs at a child for doing something silly.

"Colonel O'Neill, I am not laughing at you at all. But you do seem very young to me. And I apologize if I've insulted you in anyway."

He nodded. "Okay. Shall we get back to this?"

"As you please."

And he tried to concentrate on what she was telling him, but his mind drifted back to the discussion. He'd been what he was for too long to be able to change overnight. He looked at her and smiled. "Sorry."

 

"Do you wish to discuss it further? I do not mind putting off the lesson."

"No. I do see what you were saying before, but I need to understand this before I can deal with the other stuff."

"I see. So we shall try again. Concentrate on building a wall in your mind, imagine it to be impenetrable."

Her voice took on a nearly hypnotic tone and Jack tried again to build his shield, not letting his mind stray to other thoughts or to Daniel, who was translating something and ignoring them completely.

* * *

 

Jack was only peripherally aware of Daniel as he came into the room they had shared for the last three and a half weeks. Finally, he'd mastered the knack of backing away from the bond and moving behind his own shields. He had spent more time in his own head practicing this than he could ever remember doing with anything else he'd mastered in his life. And the worse part was, the shielding was temporary at best. But it did give him the space he needed to live with the bond.

"Jack." Daniel looked up from the table where he was typing on his laptop. "By George, I think you've got it."

"You'd be the first to know." Jack smiled. "A space of my own."

"And hard won, too." Daniel had mastered the techniques much more easily than Jack had, had even tried to help Jack work at it, but ultimately it had to be done on his own.

Jack could only nod. "Like nothing I've ever done before."

"Time to go home?" Daniel was already tossing the last of his things into his pack. God knows, even with the work from SGC, Jack knew Daniel had been bored to tears for most of the time they were here.

"Oh, yeah." Jack had his pack ready in seconds. "You know, it's still going to take some time to get back to normal." He could feel Daniel's unease and knew their shields were slipping. "I'm going to take a couple of weeks of leave when we get back."

"And go fishing? I'm assuming I'm not invited this time."

"No, I need to be alone. Need to finally think this out."

Daniel nodded, and Jack could feel him trying to hide his hurt. But there were no true secrets, even with control and shields. There were only things that could be hidden for awhile, space that could be attained for a moment. In the end, they could keep nothing from each other.

"I'm sorry." Jack looked down, hating the hurt he was causing and wishing he could somehow make it better. But he couldn't. Not yet. "You know..."

"I know."

Jack stepped forward and gathered Daniel into his arms, holding him close. "It's all too real. I need to understand it and I can't do that with you in my mind all the time."

"I know. I'm sorry." Daniel said quietly, his emotions forcibly reined back. "I don't... can't help how I feel."

"It's okay. Really. Neither of us can hide any more." Jack's tightened his arms, then moved his hands over Daniel's back in what he hoped were soothing strokes.

"No, we can't." Daniel laid his head on Jack's shoulder for a minute, breathing in deeply.

A knock on the door drew them apart.

 

"Come," Daniel called, stepping back completely from Jack's embrace.

"Are you ready to leave now?" Savah asked as she came in.

"Yes." Jack said, more than ready to go.

And he heard Daniel mutter in his mind. //Not really.// Jack knew that part of Daniel wanted to learn about this culture, this society of which he had seen almost nothing. All of his tentative questions had been gently but firmly rebuffed until he'd finally stopped asking. Jack felt sorry for him, sorry that he'd been denied.

"Savah, thank you for everything you've done for us." Picking up his packs, he looked at Daniel and smiled. "Let's go."

"Yes, thank you. We appreciate your help."

"Use the bond well, that will be my thanks." Savah held open the door.

* * *

 

"Welcome back, Colonel O'Neill, Dr. Jackson." General Hammond, Teal'c and Carter met them at the end of the ramp. And Jack was damned glad to see them.

Carter saluted him smartly. "It's good to see you, sir." She stepped forward and hugged Daniel.

"It is good to see you both well again." Teal'c said, giving them what passed for a smile.

Jack saluted the General. "This is going to be some debriefing, sir."

"I'll bet. Two hours. Dr. Fraiser gets you both first."

Both he and Daniel groaned on cue.

 

* * *

 

The bar wasn't crowded. The faint snick of billiard balls colliding and the low murmur of conversation drifted across the room to table where George Hammond was sipping his beer and waiting for Colonel O'Neill to arrive. This was highly irregular, but he could not quite bring himself to turn down the Colonel's request for a private meeting off base.

"Sir," Colonel O'Neill said as he approached the table. "Thank you for meeting me."

"Sit." Hammond looked at the Colonel, trying to assess the situation, but Jack was one hard man to read. "What is this about?"

"First, I want to request two weeks of leave." Jack signaled to the waitress and ordered a beer.

"And couldn't you have asked for that on base?" Hammond asked, taking another sip of his own beer.

"Yes, sir. But that was the easy part."

Hammond had been afraid of that. They waited silently for a moment as the waitress dropped off Jack's drink and he paid her for it. "What's the rest of it?"

"Permission to speak off the record."

"Granted." Hammond was getting impatient. He knew Jack had something to tell him and wished he'd get to it. "Now, Colonel."

"I think you know that the bond between Daniel and me is very strong." Jack looked away and took a long pull on his beer, then set it down.

"So I've been given to understand." He waited again while Jack gathered his thoughts.

"It's unbreakable. Well, actually, I'm not a hundred percent sure of that but..."

"But what?" Hammond hadn't realized there was any chance at all of breaking it. And if there were a way, why hadn't either of them followed up on that?

"I wouldn't break it now, even if I could."

"Oh?"

"It's too difficult and personal to explain, but suffice it to say once you've had this." Jack waved his hand in a gesture towards his head and then outward. "You can't lose it."

Hammond nodded, nothing he could say to that. It was so completely out of his experience that he could not even begin to speculate on it. "Is there a point to this, Colonel?"

"Yes, sir." Jack looked down at his folded hands and then back at Hammond. "Good news bad news scenario, here. The bad news is that what I know, Daniel knows, and I do mean every dirty little secret I've ever had. The good news is that it's Daniel and he has a security clearance and can be trusted."

Hammond knew he should not have been so surprised by the idea, but he was. In fact, he was shocked. The repercussions could be devastating, not only for the SGC, but for the whole Air Force. "That is a definite problem."

"Ya think? The really bad news is that it isn't going to change. Ever."

"This jeopardizes your position as second in command of the base, you realize that, don't you?"

"I do. However, I think we can keep it under wraps, so to speak. I mean, Daniel _can_ be trusted."

"His views on the military establishment are quite well known."

"I know. Believe me, I know. But he'd never break the confidence."

"I'll need to consider this." Hammond looked at Jack and had a feeling this wasn't quite over yet. "There's more?"

"I'm not sure you want to hear the more, sir."

But it didn't take a genius to figure out what had Jack O'Neill blushing like a school boy. "So, it's come to that, too?"

Jack shook his head and didn't meet Hammond's eyes. "It hasn't quite gotten there yet, but it will."

Then why was Jack having so much trouble with it? "You're sure it will?"

"Basically, he's the last man on earth." A wry smiled stretched across Jack's mouth and he fiddled with his beer, trying to peel the label off the bottle.

"I'm not sure I follow you, Jack."

"Didn't you ever play, if it/she/he were the last whatever on earth would you do it with them?"

Hammond shook his head. Must have missed that one when he was a teenager. "Go on."

"Daniel is, at least for me." Jack shook his head and laughed bitterly. "He's so far inside me that whatever I might have felt for anyone else is a memory... a distant memory."

"I see. This could be a problem, too."

"Oh, yeah. Big problem. But on the other hand, it's still Daniel."

Hammond felt his eyes widen. Did he just hear Colonel O'Neill say... no that could not be what he meant. Without Jack telling, he could not ask outright. "Jack?"

"Sir, I'm seriously freaked out about this, all of this, but being in Daniel's mind -- and don't get me wrong, it's a strange place -- is better than it would be with a lot of other people. I _know_ him, ya know?"

No, actually, he didn't know and was pretty damned sure he didn't want to know. "That's fine, Jack."

"Okay, sir. About my leave?"

"You've got your two weeks. If you need more, let me know and I'll approve it."

"Thank you, sir." Jack stood, looking away and then back. "The rest of it?"

"I'll let you know. I'll need to think about it and discuss it with the President."

"Great." Jack sighed. "Good night, sir."

* * *

 

"Hey, Daniel. How are you doing?" Sam came through Daniel's office door, holding two cups of coffee in her hands.

"Should I beware of astrophysics majors bearing gifts?" Daniel smiled at her, taking the coffee she handed him. "Thanks."

"No need to fear me, young man. I'm harmless," she said, smiling playfully and wiggling her eyebrows at him.

He laughed. God, she was great.

Sam's smile faded a little as she sat on the stool next to his desk. "I haven't had a chance to ask to you since you've been back. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay." But he knew he hadn't been as cheerful as usual. Jack's sudden departure had hurt him, more than he'd thought it would, more than he could keep from Jack. Not that he could really keep anything from Jack now, despite training and shielding.

"You're sure? You seem... I don't know, kind of down. I would have thought that being able to separate meant you guys would be okay, now." But it was more like she was asking if that were the case.

Daniel shrugged and took a long sip of his coffee. "Getting used to this..." he waved his hand outward and then back. "Hasn't been that easy."

"I'll bet. But you know, it seems kind of... don't take this wrong, but really cool to be able to read someone's mind. Can you transfer information? Like can Jack understand or speak any of the languages you can?"

Daniel sighed. It wasn't cool. "He can understand what I understand, but..." How could he put this? "It's like he has to almost ask, explicitly. He has to think about what he's heard and then I need to understand it, and then I can translate it. He doesn't know more than he did and neither do I." Of course, Jack knew a hell of a lot more than he'd ever bothered to mention to anyone, but that was a subject he was going to bring up with Jack at some point.

"Wow. That might be really useful to us in the future." Sam's eyes lit and then faded as she looked at him. "You don't think that's interesting? Exciting?"

"No. It's okay. I mean, I would never have chosen it, especially knowing what it was going to do. But..."

"But what? Or is it too personal to say?" She put a hand on his arm.

"It's hard, that's how it is. Hard to deal with knowing too much about another person, hard to accept things that are beyond anything I could imagine, hard to have someone else know things about me that should have stayed a secret."

"I'm not sure I understand. How can you know too much?"

He met her eyes. "I know everything Jack knows. All of his secrets, every op he's ever run, everything he's done, good or bad. And he knows the same thing about me."

She blushed. "Everything?"

"Oh yes, everything." He paused and saw her look down, but if she didn't say anything more about it, he wasn't going to. That was between her and Jack. "In some ways, it's okay. In others, it's hell."

"Why? I mean, this should stop you guys from having misunderstandings. You know, you'll both know where the other one is coming from, so to speak."

"I can see where it's easy to think that, but in reality, it doesn't seem to work that way." And for a second, every misunderstanding he and Jack had had in the last few weeks came back to haunt him.

"I'm sorry. You seem miserable. Can I do anything?"

"No, Sam. There's nothing anyone can do. My life has been changed in many ways that I never thought it would be. And I can't begin to get a grip on it." Well, not without some help from Jack, and he wasn't available for comment at the moment.

Sam looked confused, and he wondered what he could say to make her finally see what he was talking about.

"Imagine suddenly knowing everything there was to know about say... Janet. And her knowing the same about you." Daniel held up his hand when Sam would have opened her mouth to speak. "Now, add experiencing all of her emotions, and knowing that she was the only one who would ever be this close to you."

He saw the comprehension dawn in her eyes. "Yeah, Sam. Like that."

 

"Oh, my God. How can you live with it?"

"Well..." Daniel shrugged. "We're still trying to work that out. But I've got to say it's not easy."

But Sam was nothing if not perceptive. "That's why the Colonel went away, isn't it? He's having a hard time with it."

"As you might guess." Daniel couldn't, wouldn't say more about that.

"Wow. I guess I just..." she looked down, embarrassed.

He nodded.

An awkward silence fell between them and he could almost hear her think through all of the implications of what he'd said.

"I'm sorry. I can't even imagine it." Sam patted his arm, and stood. "I should get back to work."

"Yeah." Daniel said, moving back to his desk.

* * *

 

Jack pounded another nail into the roof of his cabin, letting his mind drift without really thinking of anything other than bringing the hammer up and down without hitting his fingers. He'd been meaning to fix this place up for a while now, but every time he came here, he hadn't had the time or energy to really do anything. Now, after nearly a month of down-time, he had energy to burn. All the time in the world to keep his body busy while his mind was carefully blank.

He knew he should be sitting by the lake, a pole in his hand, working on catching dinner. That and trying to work though the myriad of feelings that the situation had evoked in him. But he couldn't, didn't want to go there. It hurt too much to think about how his life had changed. The things he'd thought he wanted were now too distant to ever recapture. The things that were now presented to him as facts of his life were too different to consider. It wasn't fair. Not to him or to Daniel.

Nope. Not fair in the slightest. But life wasn't fair, and there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it. So he'd deal, because he had to. No choice, and that kind of made it easy. In a way.

He picked up another nail and hammered it into the shingle. There was something very satisfying about bashing the shit out of helpless nails.

Sighing, he surveyed his work. Not bad. He'd finish up tomorrow and then start replacing the rotted boards on the dock. There was no end to the work he could do around the place. Maybe he'd get to the meaning-of-life stuff at some point, but just now… Now he needed to do something else.

He climbed down off the roof and turned toward the lake. The sun was setting over the water. Beautiful. A sound from the front of the cabin made him reach for his hunting knife and slink around the front for a look. He breathed out heavily as a taxi pulled up in front. Teal'c emerged from the back, paying the cabbie what had to be an exorbitant amount of money for the drive out here from the airport.

"So... Ah Teal'c, whacha doing in Northern Minnesota?" Jack asked, watching his friend and teammate come up the steps, carrying an overnight bag.

Teal looked at him with that inscrutable look he had. "I believe the expression is: 'I was in the neighborhood.'"

"That would work." Jack smiled. "But I should point out that it's at least a two-hour drive just from the airport."

"Oh." Teal'c was silent for a moment, obviously considering. "I've come to take you up on your offer of fishing."

"Been there, done that. You hated it."

"Daniel Jackson sent me."

"Now that I can believe." Though how Daniel had done it without tipping him off, Jack wasn't sure.

"He said that you were lonely and that you did not wish to see him."

Trust Teal'c to get to the heart of things. "Come on in, I'll get you a beer." Jack waved him into the cabin. "So you gonna help me fix the dock?"

"I will happy to assist you with anything other than fishing."

Jack laughed.

* * *

 

"Hand me that nail," Jack said, holding out his hand.

Silently, Teal'c did as he was requested.

"So, you gonna tell me why you came?"

Teal'c had been there for two days, being very helpful, -- Jack was nearly done with the dock -- in that unobtrusive Jaffa way he had, but it was all starting to drive Jack nuts.

"I believe I already told you why I came here. Do you wish to discuss it further?"

"No, but I think that's not what you came here to talk about." Jack pounded the nail into the board and knelt on it, testing its strength.

Teal'c handed him another board. "If you wish to discuss something with me, I will be happy to comply."

"And what would that be?" Positioning the plank, Jack took another nail from Teal'c, and started to drive it into the wood.

"Whatever you wish."

And if he didn't want to say a word, Teal'c would be just as happy to remain silent. Jack finished the board and stood, stepping on the new wood to test its strength. It held. He looked over at Teal'c.

"On..." Damn, he hated not having a designation of some kind for the place. "The healer, Savah, said that Chu'lak society did not have any taboos against..." Jack trailed off, embarrassed that he was actually going to ask that question. But it had surprised the hell out of him. Worse than that - it had made him wonder. "Against two men..."

"That is correct, O'Neill. It is simply a relationship, like any other."

And he could not help it, he had to ask, "Have you..."

Teal'c stood and met his eyes steadily. "I have."

Wow. Not at all what Jack was expecting. "O-kay..."

"Do require instructions on how to proceed with Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c asked in the most perfectly bland tone of voice, as if it were a matter of course.

Perhaps it was, but Jack choked, and felt his face go red. "No. No. I think I can figure that one out on my own. Thank you anyway."

"If you should change your mind, I would be most honored to assist you." Teal'c smiled, as amused as Jack had ever seen him.

It took a second for Jack to realize he was being teased. "Ha ha. No, that's really not the problem."

"Then what is the problem, O'Neill?"

Good question. And one Jack couldn't talk about with anyone other than Daniel. He appreciated Teal'c coming out here. It was a damned nice thing for him to do. But then, Teal'c was a good friend.

"I think the problem is that I need to go home." Jack held his hand out for Teal'c to precede him off the dock.

Teal'c nodded and started back towards the cabin. "I think you are correct. Daniel Jackson awaits you."

"Thanks, Teal'c." For everything. Jack put a hand on his shoulder as he caught up with him.

"You are most welcome, O'Neill," Teal'c said with a smile.

* * *

 

Part 4

 

Carter's place was Jack's first stop on his way back from dropping Teal'c off at the base. He'd spoken briefly with the General and found that he still had a job, for the time being at least. They'd have to see how things worked out. But Hammond was hopeful and so was he. If they didn't work out, he would be allowed to retire quietly.

All he had to do now was to get his life in order. Seeing Carter was going to be the first step towards accepting what he could not change.

Jack rapped on the door again. Where the hell was she anyway? Her car was out front. Maybe she didn't take it or may...

"Sir?" Carter opened the door wearing only a mangy terry cloth robe. Her hair was soaking wet and had a few suds left in it. "I was..."

"In the shower."

"Yes, sir. Come in." She pulled the robe tighter around her. "Make yourself at home. I'll be right out."

She was gone only a couple of minutes. Jack had to admit, he really liked that about her; Carter didn't dilly-dally about getting ready. She came out dressed in faded blue jeans and a gauzy little top thing. And she looked cute. But he didn't feel the spiking of attraction he would have felt a few weeks ago. It was so weird not to be turned on anymore. Sighing, he remembered what seeing her in denim used to do to him.

Sitting down on the sofa opposite him, she cocked her head to one side. "Sir, is something wrong?

"No. Carter... Sam." He paused, awkward, not sure what he should say or even if he should say anything. If nothing had been acknowledged between them, then he would have been okay with just letting it go. But that damned zatark machine had made them say out loud what they both had felt, and the knowledge lived between them. Now it seemed only fair to tell her that things had changed. Significantly changed. "I wanted to talk to you about what's been going on."

"With you and Daniel?" she asked, her eyes looking around the room before settling back on him. "I had a talk with Daniel on base last week."

"I know." Of course he knew, even at a distance, there were no secrets between him and Daniel. He took a breath. What should he say? "You know, I've been nurturing this little fantasy about you and me for the last few years."

She looked like she might not want to know, but asked anyway. "What is that?"

Meeting her eyes, he wondered if this wouldn't make it worse. But he wanted, no more than that, needed her to understand that he'd been serious, that she had truly meant something to him. More than something, a lot. That if things had been different... "Oh, I figured I'd be good, keep my hands to myself until my knees finally gave out and I was ready to retire for good."

Now she smiled. "And then?"

"And then... I was going to see if... maybe you were, you know, interested in dating a broken down old Colonel. And if you were, maybe then we could go on a few dates, see if we got along okay."

"And if we did?" Surprisingly, she kept playing.

So he kept talking. "Then, maybe we could have tried the marriage deal." Jack could feel his cheeks heat up. "Maybe if everything worked out, I could have done the stay-at-home dad thing... Maybe when all was said and done, I'd have been the General's husband." Looking down, Jack could remember how badly he'd wanted that, truly wanted it. And now he didn't anymore.

"It's not going to happen like that, is it?" Sam asked with little emotion, and Jack could not read her tone.

"No." He shook his head sadly. "No, it's not. And I'm so sorry."

"So am I. But you have to understand something. As much as I like your fantasy -- and make no mistake, I do -- it wasn't mine." She gave him a tremulous smile. "I never had any expectations."

He didn't quite believe her. The look in her eyes was a little too bright. But damn, he admired her guts and determination, letting them both off the hook and saving their pride.

Her bearing changed, her shoulders straightening, manner becoming more professional. "How are you dealing with this, sir?"

Jack shrugged. He supposed they needed to talk about it, since it affected the whole team. "I feel like I've lost my life and gained a different one in return, but I can't decide if I've been ripped off or not."

She laughed awkwardly. "What will happen now?"

"I'm glad to report that the General doesn't have to fire me," Jack said with a smile. "At least for the moment."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you know. Don't ask, don't tell." He smiled and hoped to God he wasn't blushing again.

Nodding, Sam looked sympathetic. "What are you going to do? I mean with the team."

"We'll see how it goes. I'm hoping that SG-1 can continue on from here without too many problems. What do you think?"

Her brow creased. "Given your new relationship with Daniel, that might make things more difficult."

"In some ways, it will. But there are some advantages to all of this." A few.

She smiled at that. "Yeah. I guess there are at that. According to Daniel, you can't be hosted."

"Well, we could be, but the combined power of our joined minds could drive the Goa'uld out and kill it. Pity we can only use it on the two of us."

"Yes, that might make a powerful weapon."

"I suspect that's why Savah didn't tell us who they were." Jack still felt some frustration over not knowing who had helped them, both his own and Daniel's.

"Have you seen Daniel since you've been back?"

"No. He's waiting for me now."

"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow in question.

"I know where he is at all times and his general well-being. He knows the same thing about me."

"Now, that could be useful when we get separated."

He'd thought of that and it would make things that much easier. "True."

* * *

 

Daniel opened the door as soon as he stepped off the elevator.

"Hey," Jack said as he was ushered inside. He could feel Daniel's unease, his trepidation, and wasn't sure what to say to fix it. And he could also tell, even with their respective shields in place, what Daniel wanted.

He turned as soon as the door closed and gathered Daniel into his arms, holding him, inhaling the spicy scent of his aftershave, and generally reveling in his presence. Being able to separate didn't mean he didn't want/need/crave being with Daniel. Holding him in his arms was as close to perfect peace as Jack ever expected to come.

"You smell good."

"Thanks." Daniel laughed nervously and moved out of his arms. "I guess we should get right to it."

"What? Get to what exactly?" He followed Daniel into the living room, and sat down on the couch.

Daniel continued to stand, looking down at Jack, and somehow keeping his mind mostly blank. "This is where we draw the lines, you know, set the limits."

"Daniel? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Look. You can't lie to me. I know you don't want to have a relationship with me."

//What? What?// Jack's mind sputtered, not quite believing they could be having this conversation. "For crying out loud, I already have a relationship with you."

Putting his hands on his hips, Daniel just looked at him, irritation sliding into Jack's head. "You know what I mean."

No, actually he didn't have a clue. Daniel's fear and upset were easy to read, but almost nothing else came through. Typical, when he could use a dose of the telepathy, it wasn't working. Or rather, Daniel had perfected blocking him out. Words now, he supposed. "Daniel, come on. Tell me."

"What? You tell me what you want, okay." Daniel made an impatient gesture with his hands, moving them between them. "I have to know."

"Isn't this about both of us?" Jack was trying to be reasonable, but it was damned hard when Daniel wasn't cooperating.

"I thought it was about..." Daniel looked down. //You being too freaked to deal with this at all.//

"Talk out loud. I was...am pretty freaked, but it was never about rejecting you. Actually, it wasn't about you at all." This was old news; they had hashed it out more than once when they were learning to deal with the bond. Why was it coming up again?

"What the hell are you talking about? How could it not be about me? Bonded to me, remember." Daniel gestured between them again, more empathically.

How could Daniel not understand? "All of this, my need for control, my need for space had nothing to do with you."

Daniel shook his head. "I don't understand."

A surge of anger went through Jack and he could feel Daniel grimace. "All of this telepathy, the lack of privacy, the no more secrets and you still don't get it?"

"Apparently not." Daniel folded his arms over his chest.

"It wasn't about not wanting you. It was about not wanting everything else."

"You didn't think about me once while you were gone. The only thing that you seemed to worry about was -"

"How it impacted my life." Jack didn't understand why that was a problem. This had such a major impact on his life, he could still only barely deal with the repercussions.

"I'm the repercussion. I'm the one who's in this with you. And you never once thought about our relationship and how it has changed."

"Oh." Jack understood, or thought he did. "I didn't have to worry about our relationship. I already knew everything I needed to know."

He could feel Daniel's pain coming at him in waves.

"Exactly," Daniel ground out through his clenched teeth. "You don't want to change it at all."

"It's already changed, but what hasn't changed is the way I feel about you." He looked right at Daniel, feeling him feel it. "I love you. I did before this started and that hasn't changed."

"But as a friend, not anything deeper."

"Without getting into degrees, here, it's pretty deep. Besides, how far is friendship from love, really?" Jack smiled at him.

Daniel shook his head and grimaced. "Pretty far in this case."

"Why? Because we're men. Because I'm a little freaked about gay sex? You seemed to make the transition pretty easily."

"You can't. Won't."

"Think again."

Daniel shook his head. "How can you say that?"

"Because I'm ready to accept it now. And I wasn't before. Give me a break here, I'm forty-five years old. A change in lifestyle was not what I was expecting at this point in my life."

"So... what you're saying is that you've got no choice, so you'll settle for me."

Jack winced at the pain in Daniel's tone and in his head. "No. That's not what I'm saying at all." Jack took a breath and let it out through his teeth. "The only thing that has made this bearable is that it's you. That I care enough about you to make the transition at all."

He could feel Daniel's disbelief. Fuck, what did it take to convince him?

"What about Sam?"

"Oh, for God's sake. You know exactly what I felt about Sam then and what I feel about her now."

Daniel nodded, looking down, his emotions wrapped tight.

//Getting way tired of this, Danny-boy.//

"What would you have me do?"

Jack sighed. "If we were living in a different culture, who knows, it might have been you instead of Sam. I don't think my feelings for you are all that much different than for her, it was only social conditioning that made me look the way I did."

"So this has stripped off your social conditioning?"

"Well, no, not exactly. But after I could think again, I realized that I _could_ have felt that way about you without much encouragement."

"Sexual attraction is a big factor."

At least that part was easy. "Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

Daniel actually blushed and then shook his head. "You're joking, right?"

"Am I?" As Daniel had once done, Jack built a picture in his mind of just how he saw Daniel. The sharp intelligence, the sheer physical beauty, and the boundless compassion. He could feel Daniel's surprise.

"How did you keep that hidden from me? Why?"

"It wasn't hidden at all. One thing I've realized with all of this: you have to actively think about whatever it is you want to know. You actually have to look for it to find it, otherwise you're just as clueless as before."

"The difference being that when we do look, we can find whatever emotions or memories we are looking for."

"You didn't look, Daniel, you just assumed that I didn't care. Which-"

"Bugged the shit out of you and clearly wasn't true either." Daniel looked down, a chagrined smile on his lips.

"Yeah." Jack smiled at him, and stood, taking a step closer. "So...I'm thinking you might want to try out some of those new fantasies?"

Daniel put both hands on Jack's waist and drew him forward. "How do you know they are new?"

"Because, you only started having fantasies about men in the last few weeks."

"Actually, that would be fantasies about you, not about men in general." Daniel leaned forward and pressed his mouth to Jack's, kissing him deeply.

* * *

 

Daniel groaned into Jack's mouth, savoring the flavor, the texture, the sheer delight of kissing Jack. //I love you, so much.// Daniel tried to pull back, horrified that he thought that so plainly. Not that it wasn't perfectly true, but it had just slipped into his mind.

Holding on tighter, Jack wasn't inclined to let him go. //You thought that was a secret, right? Got news for you, I knew it.//

Daniel wrenched back, needing to be free for the moment. Thankfully, Jack didn't hold him.. He stalked to the window, looking out at the setting sun. "I know it wasn't. I know you know, but...." //God, I'm so pathetic. I can't keep anything to myself.//

Hard hands on his shoulders turned him around to face a scowling Jack. "You're not pathetic. You're just a little ahead of me."

"I can feel what you feel, Jack. It's still way closer to friendship than it is to love."

"How the fuck do you know what I feel, when I'm not sure what I feel?"

Daniel shrugged. He just knew. Could feel it in every thought, every emotion, everything Jack felt about him.

Shaking his head, Jack smiled wearily at him and took at step closer. "Maybe if we move things along, here, I'll figure something out."

He couldn't believe that Jack wanted to have sex.

"Make love, actually," Jack corrected. "Sex isn't important, and this is."

"Don't you think you should be in love, if we're going to make love?" Not that it was necessary by any means, but if Jack were going to put it that way, then he was going to call him on it.

Jack glared at him. "Semantics. You know how I feel. It's only going to grow and deepen. How could it not?"

Right. What he felt hadn't changed in all the time they had known each other; Daniel didn't have a lot of confidence that it would suddenly blossom into something passionate.

"Don't be ridiculous, of course my feelings for you have strengthened."

"And I think mine have gone over the top without much encouragement." Daniel laughed bitterly. "You know, I think they must have been stronger than I realized to start with."

"I think that's possible. Maybe it will happen with me." //It's possible.//

"But unlikely since nothing has happened yet."

"Don't be an ass. You haven't given me a chance to even explore the emotions." Jack glared at him. "Why don't we talk about it?"

"I don't think talking is what you have in mind right now. Anyway, since when do you want to talk about anything?"

Again Jack's hands settled on his shoulder, gently this time. "Since I don't have a choice anymore, since you're going to know anyway and I can't lie."

"Would you, if you could?"

"Lie?" Jack shrugged. "I don't know. It's not an option, so what difference does it make?"

"None, I guess."

"Okay?" Jack stepped forward, hand moving up to cup around Daniel's neck, fingers caressing tender skin.

"Maybe we should take the sex thing slowly?" Daniel said, shivering pleasantly from the warmth of Jack's hands so soft on his skin. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips lightly across Jack's.

"Whatever you want, Daniel. I don't want to push you into anything, talking or otherwise, that you don't want to do."

A laugh Daniel couldn't control escaped him. "It's not me that I'm worried about. If you'll recall, the last time we tried to get physical, you were so traumatized we didn't try it again."

Jack snorted, resting his forehead against Daniel's, fingers still dancing along his nape. "Wasn't ready then."

"And now you are." But he could feel that Jack was ready, could feel his passion and desire almost as if it were his own.

//No more talking or thinking.//

Daniel pressed his mouth to Jack's again, kissing gently, sweetly, and the connection between them increasing with the touch.

"Nervous, but you are too," Jack said against his mouth, his tongue flicking out to lick Daniel's lips. "Mmm."

"I'm nervous for different reasons than you are." Daniel was afraid that Jack didn't really want him, despite being able to feel Jack's desire.

"I do. I want you. Every way I can get you." Jack sent a couple of mental pictures of what he might like to try.

Daniel balked, pulling back to look Jack in the eyes. "We are really not ready for some of that."

"Which part didn't you like?"

"Fucking, for one."

"Why not?" Jack asked, his eyebrow raised. "I'd like to try that. First actually."

"Let's give it some time, huh? That's sort of a big step for guys, or anyone actually." For him it was huge.

"How do you know that?"

"Know what? Oh, the big step?" Daniel just looked at him. "How do you think I know?"

"You researched it? I can't believe you actually looked this stuff up... Oh God, not only in books but on the 'net?" Jack sounded and felt horrified by the very idea.

Trying to hold back his laughter, Daniel kissed Jack quickly, pulling back as Jack started to respond. "And how do I make my living? Researcher, here. When I don't know something, I look it up. And since neither of us had a clue, I thought one of us should find out."

He felt Jack consider it, and look through the information in his mind, then smile at him. "Okay. Good idea. And thanks. But I still want to try it."

"We will. But let's give it some time."

"Why?"

"Because I am not ready for you to do that to me yet."

Jack looked and felt puzzled. "Who said you were going first?"

"I just assumed..." Daniel did a quick review of the images that Jack had sent him. It actually hadn't really been them, sort of mental stick figures.

"Don't assume anything about this."

"Why not? I can't believe that you'd let me-"

Jack's burst of anger surprised him. "How could you possibly think I was so selfish that I would only take? Haven't you learned anything?"

Daniel looked down. He hadn't been fair. "I'm sorry. But you can't deny that you want to fuck me."

"No. Actually, I take that back. I want to make love with you."

"Semantics." But he had to smile.

"Whatever. I _was_ thinking of me first."

He could see all of Jack's reasons and feelings on the subject. Jack was scared, true, but wanted to try it as well. Jack thought that if he did it early on, then he wouldn't worry about it, sort of jumping in the deep end as it were.

As Daniel looked around, he saw the real reason: Jack wanted some practical experience so he'd know what he was doing and wouldn't hurt Daniel. That was so typical of Jack. Daniel had to smile. "Didn't I say something about you being a protective SOB?"

Jack grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Can't help who I am."

 

//And I love you for it.// Daniel groaned again. "Just shoot me now."

"Don't start, okay. I love you, too. And if you say not the same way, then I'm going to have to hurt you."

"But..."

"Ah! No buts. Now shut up and kiss me."

Daniel laughed, doing as he was told for a change, and kissing Jack carefully. Pressing forward, he directed them towards the couch, turning to sit down. He held out his hand, showing Jack what he wanted, but of course, Jack had to argue.

"No. I am not going to sit on your lap -- grown man here."

"Straddle my thighs. And what does being a man have to do with it?"

Jack smirked, folding his arms across his chest and shaking his head. "Not dignified."

"And you are? Since when?"

Daniel tugged on Jack's hand, but Jack shook his head. "My knees won't take that kind of abuse."

"You knees will be fine. It's soft." Daniel patted the cushions next to him, looking up with a little pleading look in his eyes.

With a groan of surrender, Jack slid forward, his knees on either side of Daniel's thighs, his arms going around Daniel's neck.

"This is great, I love kissing like this." He kissed Jack softly, sliding his hands down Jack's long back to settle on his butt, squeezing lightly.

"I'm too big to do this." But despite the words, Jack cuddled closer to him, tightening his arms and kissing him again.

"You're only an inch or two taller than I am. And I hate to tell you this, but I'm broader in the shoulders. Now for some serious kissing." He took Jack's mouth. His tongue pressing against Jack's to silence whatever complaints he might have had.

"Didn't have any," Jack said, as the kiss ended. "We need to reverse this, so I can touch you more."

"In a minute." Daniel needed more kisses before he would be ready to move or let Jack have the upper hand. "Though maybe we should take this somewhere a little more comfortable?"

"Finally, bed." Jack backed off Daniel's lap and held out his hand to help Daniel to his feet. "Do you have lube?"

Daniel raised an eyebrow, turning to face him. "Jack--"

"We'll need it if your research is correct."

"Oh, it's correct, but are ..."

"Oh, yeah. I'm sure."

Daniel wasn't sure, but knew he'd have to pick his battles with Jack. And the truth of it was that he didn't really mind losing this one.

* * *

 

"Not losing. We'll both win on this one," Jack whispered against Daniel's mouth, his tongue tracing the outside of his lush lips. 'Mmm... have I mentioned that I love kissing you?"

"Not as such, but I did get that impression. Yes."

Daniel's mouth opened under his, and their tongues touched, sliding wetly across each other, sensations spiking sharply. Jack moaned.

"Bedroom," Daniel said as the kiss ended.

"Lead on, MacDuff." Jack didn't let him move, though, kissing him again and again, before finally following Daniel into the bedroom.

Both his and Daniel's nervousness swept through Jack as they stood facing each other beside the low, wide bed. Reaching out, his fingers started on the buttons on Daniel's shirt as Daniel's fingers did the same on his. No words necessary, they both knew what they wanted. Jack faced a naked Daniel, watching him assess and admire as he did the same. No secrets, no barriers, no shame.

//You are magnificent,// Jack thought, running his fingers lightly down Daniel's chest. //So damned beautiful.//

Daniel blushed and stepped forward to kiss him, passion sparking and igniting between them.

Jack's hands could not be held back; he had to touch, to explore every surface, every muscle, every inch of skin.

//So soft.// Jack's fingers skimmed lightly over Daniel's back, barely touching, winding his hands around to Daniel's chest, tweaking a nipple. Daniel arched under his touch, responding, moaning, enjoying each movement.

//God, Jack!//

Excitement arching like lightning, he felt Daniel's electricity nearly as strongly as his own. If he didn't want the storm to be over too soon, he knew he had to stand down. Kissing Daniel tenderly, he took a step back and nodded towards the bed.

Daniel lay down, and raised his hand to Jack. Jack took it, lying down next to Daniel, and gathered him into his arms. Kissing Daniel deeply before moving on to taste his chest, Jack lavished his attention on smooth skin, already loving the sound of Daniel's deep groans. Continuing to explore, his hands touching, his mouth tasting, his body reveling in the sensations, Jack felt the lightening strike of emotions blister through him.

After responding with enthusiasm to each touch from Jack, and allowing him to have his way for a while, Daniel took control. Shifting his body, Daniel pushed Jack onto his back, and starting to lick down his body. Then it was Jack's turn to groan and writhe under Daniel's careful, passionate assault; but when he got too close, Daniel backed off.

//Daniel!//

"Be good, Jack." Daniel kissed his belly, moving down at an infinitesimal rate. "Slow and easy. That's the key."

"Fast and hard, that's better." Jack was pretty much beyond dealing with slow and easy, had actually passed it some time ago.

"Let's get you over, then." Daniel helped him turn onto his belly and a bolt of primal fear shot through Jack, dissipating a lot of his euphoric mood.

"We don't have to," Daniel was quick to point out. "This was your idea. I'm willing to wait. There are all kinds of other things we can do. Fun things."

"But I want to." And he did. But that didn't mean...

"That you're not nervous."

"Nope." Jack canted his hips into the bedding, enjoying the slight stimulation of the rough comforter against his arousal.

"None of that." Daniel's hand connected with his backside using a little too much force for Jack's taste.

"Don't hit that hard." Jack tried to sound indignant, but knew he hadn't quite made it; he sounded too breathless for that.

"I'm sorry." Daniel leaned forward, nuzzling the injured cheek. His tongue snaking out to lick along the skin.

"That's better," Jack said, his words turning into a groan as Daniel's mouth didn't leave the area. In fact, clever fingers parted him, and a warm wet tongue touched him more intimately than anyone ever had.

Fire flashed brightly through his whole body and Jack nearly arched off the bed. "Oh God! Daniel!" Sensations continued to tear though him. "Oh God, good."

"Shhh... Relax..." Daniel's voice was soothing, but he dipped his tongue back against where he'd been, and Jack screamed as the heat and pleasure permeated his body. He wasn't going to survive this. No way anyone could survive this much intensity, bliss.

A gentle finger slipped into him and he groaned harder, moving with it as it too sought to pleasure him.

More fingers, more joy, and then they were gone. Before he could protest the loss, something else was pressed against him, and he felt a query from Daniel.

//Yes,// he confirmed. He wanted this, wanted to feel Daniel inside him. Knew it would be wonderful.

Daniel pressed forward, sliding in partway before Jack's body seized up tight and tried to shut down.

Damn. He hadn't expected it to hurt this much.

//I did. Breathe out and press back.//

Doing as Daniel instructed, the feeling of being split by a steel beam eased some. Amazingly, aside from the pain, he could also feel Daniel's pleasure at being buried inside him, Daniel's intense concentration as he tried not to move, but even more than that, what it was like being inside himself.

//Am I fucking myself?// Jack laughed at the notion.

 

//Me too. I feel like... like I'm being fucked as well as fucking...//

//I really don't like that word in this context,// Jack complained.

//You used it first. Anyway it's a perfectly good Anglo-Saxon word.//

//Not the time for that.//

Jack's body eased completely, and Daniel slid the rest of the way in. //Wow. Jack.//

//Yeah. Oh yeah.//

Daniel moved out carefully, and slid back in. Then again and again, changing the angle of each stroke downward until he hit something that made Jack want to scream with the intensity of the shock of sensations.

"Daniel, there!"

"Felt it too. Oh, God." Daniel pressed in again, aiming for that sweet spot. "That's amazing."

"Tell me about it. No, don't. Just do it again."

He did. Stroking over the spot again, and then again, until Jack's mind shut down completely and he was incoherent with pleasure. With each stroke, each spike of pleasure, their minds merged further until Jack no longer knew where he ended and Daniel began. Daniel's pleasure, his joy, his bliss washed over Jack in sheeting waves and he couldn't take it. It was too much. Screaming and sobbing, he came hard. Harder than he could ever remember coming in his life, ecstasy searing every nerve, euphoria suffusing his heart, and Daniel's love filling his soul.

When the world righted itself again, he was still in Daniel's mind, feeling both Daniel's satisfaction and his own.

"That was amazing." Daniel sighed, kissing him softly on the nape before pulling out.

"Ouch," Jack muttered, his tortured muscles complaining bitterly at the abuse they'd received, but Jack didn't care. He couldn't wait to try that again. Maybe from the other side, too, when Daniel was ready.

"Soon. Kiss the hurt better?" Daniel leaned down again and kissed the small of his back, and then each butt cheek.

"Like doing that?" Jack liked having it done and was going to try it himself as soon as he could find the energy to move. Which now that he thought about it, might not be any time in the near future.

"Like kissing you. Don't have any problems with where. And neither do you, I see."

"Nope, gonna kiss you all over. Soon as I can move again."

Daniel laughed. "Promises, promises. I can't believe how good that was. I mean, being able to feel what you felt."

"Yeah, it was..." Jack ran through a list of adjectives in his mind, but could not come up with a suitable one.

"That's another thing I've been meaning to talk to you about." Daniel's mind was curiously blank and that worried Jack.

"Uh...what?"

"Your vocabulary."

"What about it?"

"It's a bit... shall we say larger than you've let on..."

 _//Busted!//_ "Well, you had to know I wasn't stupid." He looked at Daniel. "No one could be that stupid, not and be where I am."

"Yes, but you've neglected to mention just _how_ intelligent you are."

"Don't worry, you're still way smarter than me."

Daniel pouted. "I'm not so sure anymore."

"You so don't have anything to worry about." Jack laughed, feeling far too good to worry about anything.

End


End file.
